Search Results for: dechurched

What Does it Feel Like to be the DeChurched?

I think for some, not all, of the DeChurched, THIS is how they feel. They don't quite fit in to what the church is telling us we have to do. How they must look. They just can't seem to physically adjust the way God's made them to perform the way the church has told them they must. So. They quit.

I'd just want to add that God did not set this mandate for how many churches try to train it's members to perform. Yes, God did give us guidelines to follow for our safety, protection, and inevitably to show us how much we need Him and the salvation he offers. But the fence before the fence before the sin was put up by the Pharisees. The ones that think they actually can make it on their own. They've created man-made traditions to adhere to in hopes to seem more righteous before men but are lost and separated from their savior thinking they don't need saving.

Lets rethink first position that's is hard to maneuver and the plié that makes the newbie fall on their tush while the experts giggle amongst themselves. Let's instead stretch out the hand of love and teach each other to walk the straight and narrow path with as little fancy pants dancing down the path as possible.

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. (1 Corinthians 13:1-7, The Message)

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Are You the DeChurched?

In the 80s the term "unchurched" was coined. This word was used an inevitably replaced non-christian. Satan has a clever way of using just a simple word change to seem more politically correct and palatable to hinder the work of Christ.

You may not think this word change sounds so bad but it essentially changed the game plan. We, as Christ-followers, used to "spread the gospel" in the beginning of The Church. Then some how this moved to a more self-righteous movement where we're doing crazy things like pilgrims trying to "convert" the Indians. Along with that came the "right way" to dress, behave, interact, and basically live. That moved to the phrase "evangelizing non-Christians" which then became "reaching the unchurched". Yep. That's exactly what it sounds like. To quote an article for Christianity Today entitled Who are the De-Churched,

The church was no longer just a means by which Christ’s mission would advance in the world, it was also the end of that mission. The goal wasn’t simply to introduce the unchurched to Christ, but—as the term reveals—to engage them in a relationship with the institutional church. This paved the way for the ubiquitous (but flawed) belief today that “mission” is synonymous with “church growth.”

Church-goers are now trying to grow their club rather than simply love on people and be prepared to share the reason for the hope they have.

In that same article they've broken the de-churched into these 3 generalized groups:

1. The Relationally De-Churched: those who abandon the institutional church because they desire authenticity.

2. The Missionally De-Churched: those who leave because they are die-hard activists.

3. The Transformationally De-Churched: those who left because people in the church have the tendency to be small and mean and couldn’t deal honestly with their own sins or the sin of others.

Where do you fit in today?

  • Are you apart of the club? Have you made it through rush and now you know the ins and outs of how things are to be run?
  • Have you gone to the club week-in and week-out not really knowing why you do certain things but enjoying having something to do or a group to call your own?
  • Are you begrudgingly attending a club but long for something more and just don't know what that is? Do something about it! Be the change you're looking for. Love. Love right where your are!
  • Are you one of the de-churched for one of the reasons listed above? There are tons like you! Ones who want to make a difference. Ones who are tired of the once meaningful traditions. Those ready to engage in the culture now.
  • Are you a person wandering this earth waiting to find out why we're all here? You've never stepped foot inside a church building and have never been given a good reason to do so. No one's told you about the God who created you and loves you and longs to be reunited with His child. You've possibly lived in the US all your life, and people assume everyone in this "Christian Country" knows all the stories of the Bible, but you along with tons of others have no idea what they're talking about in literature class.

We're coming! I promise! There are Christ-followers who are on their way. They want to share life with you. Love on you right where you are! We want to share Christ; not bottle Him up for ourselves and those we deem worthy. We Are Coming for You!

Learn more in these posts: Who are the DeChurched? AND Why are they leaving and NOT coming back?

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Where are you ‘chasing’ the DeChurched?

I told you a little yesterday about who some of the DeChurched are. I also mentioned that they, along with the UnChurched, are the target group of The Valley church we are planting in Vilonia.
Today I want to share this video of Matt Chandler, the lead teaching pastor at the 'mega church', The Village in Dallas, TX. I hope this explains yet another sect of the UnChurched population in America.

Many of you may be wondering where exactly we plan to "chase" this generation of Christ followers who happen to not regularly attend a Sunday service somewhere. You may be disappointed but our goal is not to chase them back into a building to take part in a boring weekend hobby. Our plan is to chase them back to the heart of Jesus.

  • For some that means introducing them to the real Jesus of the bible as opposed to what some churches have portrayed Him as, a tradition or moral to uphold
  • For others that may mean we provide them with a freeing space to worship together with the the family they have in Christ.
  • For yet others, it may mean showing them God's heart for serving and sharing this amazing love story as it unfolds all around them.

We want to be the arms of Jesus reaching out to a group that needs solid biblical teaching, strong fellowship among other Christ-followers, an example of authentic gospel driven lifestyle to mimic. Ultimately, this model will mobilizes this generation to reach the world for the name of Jesus like we're called and long to do.

We will not be a building. We will not be a location. We will not be a service. We will not be an organization.

We will become the body of Christ in order to bring honor to His name and accomplish His will.

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Who are the dechurched?

Most of you know that my husband and I have been "called" to go plant a church. What many of you may not know is why. There were many factors but the one that's growing the most meaningful to me is this:

We are going to chase down the
unchurched and dechurched in our generation!

Vilonia is a "bedroom" town {people commute all week to jobs and only sleep in their homes} made up of mainly 25-35 year old's with an average of young 2 children. That's US. I am 28 and Matt just turned 35. We have 3 kids...but they all came in 2.5 kids so they're kinda like just 2... hehe

This is my generation! Generation Y. The Millennial Generation. Echo Boomers. The children of baby boomers or Gen Xers. Marked by an increased use and familiarity with communications, media, and digital technologies.

I've always wanted to be that generation. The generation that seeks! That seeks His face. Oh, God of Jacob!

Sadly, when I moved into youth ministry with my husband I had all but kissed my hopes of being in that kind of generation goodbye. I'd moved on to the hopes of helping the next generations. I mean really! Ton's of people in generation Y won't even try church because they've been burnt by someone claiming they are apart of "the church" when really they have no idea it's not really just a boring weekend hobby. These are the unchurched. Lost. Completely unaware of Christ. Nope, they don't know the stories.

My people are, if in fact they've ever been apart of a church are leaving church in droves. No, we're not just leaving. We're running from church. We are no longer coming back to church either. Not like our parents and possibly grandparents did after their phase of college-age life. Ya know, coming to their senses when they settled down and had some "kids that needed to be in church." These are the dechurched.

Today I want you to know a little more about my generation from the well-know, much cooler than I, Jessica Bowman of Bohemian Bowman's, Parenting Wild Things, as well as the Finding Church Community Project set to release Fall of 2012.

~~~

Who are the dechurched, the truest cynics?

 

We are her children - we are the churched.

 

We've been there, done that, and gotten the VBS t-shirt. We are the burned, the spurned. We are not scholars, but know when things don't add up. We know the words of Jesus, you made us memorize them for stickers and trinkets - so we know when they're being stomped, ignored - twisted.

 

When you attack our appearance, put your man-made traditions before souls, squander resources on self-preservation, exclude - we see it. We pick it up off the holy ground where you dropped it and load it in our guns like ammunition.

 

We don't bother listening to you because you don't have anything new to say. We tune out your Charlie Brown teacher droning - mwamwa, republican, mwamwa abortion, mwamwa, pro-war, mwamwa, gay-hater, mwa mwa mwa.

 

Until you speak grace, we will despise you. Until you speak love, we will only hear a clanging gong. Until you speak truth, we will run from your institutions.

 

We may be wrong, but we know you're not right. And that's enough to fuel the fires of our disgust and disinterest. Indefinitely.

 

~~~

 

Learn more about Jessica's journey of Leaving the Church as well as her resent Returning to Church.

Continue reading here about another sect of the DeChurched, where we plan to chase them. and where you lie in the DeChurched perspective.

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On Andy Stanley and The Size of Your ‘Church’

I believe Andy Stanley's statement hit a cord with so many in a negative way because there IS an [element] of true in it and as most things that sting, it's because there's a hint of personal guilt.

*PERSONAL JOURNEY* October 14, 2012 Alpharetta - Andy Stanley preaches during the 9 a.m. worship service at North Point Community Church in Alpharetta on Sunday, October 14, 2012. Andy Stanley, whose father was the most powerful preacher in Atlanta, has now become the most powerful preacher in Atlanta. His North Point collection of churches has 30,000 members, and is growing.In his new book, "Deep and Wide, " he tells the story of growing up in the shadow of Charles Stanley, preacher at First Baptist, of the conflict that led to him breaking away to start his own church, and of his subsequent rise to lead the biggest congregation in the city, and one of the biggest in the country. HYOSUB SHIN / HSHIN@AJC.COM

Stanley said:

When I hear adults say, “Well I don’t like a big church, I like about 200, I want to be able to know everybody,” I say, “You are so stinking selfish. You care nothing about the next generation. All you care about is you and your five friends. You don’t care about your kids [or] anybody else’s kids”… If you don’t go to a church large enough where you can have enough middle schoolers and high schoolers to separate them so they can have small groups and grow up the local church, you are a selfish adult. Get over it. Find yourself a big old church where your kids can connect with a bunch of people and grow up and love the local church. Instead… you drag your kids to a church they hate, and then they grow up and hate the local church. They go to college, and you pray that there will be a church in the college town that they connect with. Guess what? All those churches are big.

Read more of what Andy said HERE or listen to the full sermon HERE

Faced with the online outcry, Stanley apologized on Twitter, saying “The negative reaction to the clip from last weekend's message is entirely justified. Heck, even I was offended by what I said! I apologize.”

A wise WISE friend once told me something beyond profound when I message her about a big hurt someone had caused me with what they said. Fully expecting her to defend me, be upset with the other person, and tell me how right I was and therefore wrong they were she did something even better for me, in the long run.

She said, "Well, first I think you need to step back and see if there is any truth in their statement. Then you can decide if that truth means you need to fix something. If so, do it and move on. If there is no truth in the statement, move on without worry." Then she went on to give me her opinion like a sweet friend after being the spiritual guiding friend I needed first.

The question in this situation seems to be: Did Andy Stanley mis-speak OR call us out as The Church?

Don't get me wrong, I think there was a lot of false doctrine in his un-thought-out statements. That happens to the best of us when we're not careful.

  • "Church" isn't something you do or somewhere you go. It's the group of people who have become bond-servants of Christ. I so wish this one would sink in for us and a LOT of our misconceptions would be fixed.
  • 20, 200, 0,2000, or 20,000 are all just a number and each can serve a purpose in The Kingdom's work. Just like in business, there are benefits on both the sides of large and small.
  • The next generation doesn't necessarily need what a larger church. Not every large church is Bionically sound just as not every small church is.
  • Division by age, stage-of-life, gender, or any other qualifier is often the easiest way to manage large groups of people rarely the BEST for them. Maybe we could use RACE as an example here and see how that played out for us.
  • Mega/large churches are a fairly new commodity and it will take years to have any concrete studies on wither or not there are long-term benefits OR detriments. In reference to this specific topic, that means, we have no real proof if children will grow into adults who love or hate church [attendance] based on the size of their church.
  • If you are dragging your child to church, that highly indicates other issues...not with your church. Most studies indicate THE main factor found in those who leave the church is a hypocritical lifestyle lived by parents/those raising them. Meaning, living one way at home and another in front of others, ie The Church.
  • When you send your child to college, if you have taught them to group themselves only based on self-service and who looks, talks, sounds, etc like them, then of course, a larger church is where they will have the most likelihood to find such a group. But people become "dechurched", leaving church from mega and small churches.

If you were like me and initially offended by what Andy Stanley said, I think there are some questions that need to be ask.

  • Do you have the wrong view of what The Church is and what it's purpose is?
  • Are you proud of or embraced by the average attendance of your Sunday morning service? {either can be unhealthy}
  • Are you intentionally keeping your part of The Church small for selfish reasons?
  • Do you enjoy knowing 'everyone' and therefor selfishly don't care if you reach out to know [or MORE] people?
  • Are you living missionally {intentionally for The Kingdom}, chasing the lost even if that means you might have to share you church/christian club?
  • Is the effort to lead more people to Christ more important to you than the number of members your church has?
  • Do you worry about giving your children everything they 'want' rather than 'need', contributing to the entitled generation?
  • Do you attend your current church based on what it offers you and your family or based on sound Biblical reasoning?
  • Do you group you and others like a preKer sorting by colors, size, shape, and purpose when it comes to church and other facets of your life?
  • Are you bothered by small children "disturbing" the church service with typical childish behavior?
  • Do your children enjoy attending church service? Are they apart of The Church? What's the real factor there?
  • Is your church partnering WITH you [not for you] to train-up your children in the ways of following Christ?
  • Are you fully preparing your children to chase after Christ and His will for their future or are you guarding them in hopes of them leading a watered down, comfortable version of the 'christian' American Dream?

 

I know Andy's statements made me have to reevaluate a lot of this stuff. I hope you'll mull over both sides for you and your family as well. Your thoughts on the matter?

 

 

Related articles about the DechurchedMissional Living, and Church Planting.

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