After visiting my father-in-law in the hospital, we all headed to the potty before leaving. My children begin taking turns using the one empty stall of the three while Aunt Meg held the door shut and I changed Ellie's diaper.
Pretty standard stuff. No screaming, hitting, or giant 'accidents'.
One of the women who occupied one of the other two stalls came out as two kids rotated out and the third went into the stall the stranger just exited. Said women began to wash her hands all while watching us like we were a circus. My kids finished and germX was dispensed.
As Meg took her turn in the restroom the women realized all the children were mine {the name mom a gazillion times in reference to me might have been a good clue}. She looked at me with eyebrows raised, "Are ALL these your?" I politely said yes with a smile. With a peasant look plaster on my face, I made sure everyone was buttoned, snapped, tucked, and clean as the Charley Brown "wamp wamp wamp wamp wamp" played in the background.
We were walking to the car, after Meg allowed me a private bathroom break as she and the kids waited in the lobby, and Meg ask, "What did that woman say to you?"
I hadn't thought much about it..."Something about, are all these yours?" I responded. I had to laugh when I realized she had said more and I couldn't tell you what.
I had to confess to Megan that after years of verbal abuse from strangers about my chose to love having multiple children, I learned to respectfully ignore their ignorant and insulting banter after the initial snarled comments about the number and or close age of my children.
It started when I just had three and hasn't gotten any better.
It's so sad that our society hates children so much that we make people feel inappropriate, irresponsible, or crazy for having more than two; especially if they are any less than 2 years apart. This doesn't stop with that, somehow, as Americans we believe we have some sort of right to determine perfect age in which to have or stop having children, how many to have, how you have them, how far apart you plan your blessings.
Just for the record, it is none of our business! Wither a woman is a teen mom, single mom, married mom, chosen or not chosen mom of none, an "only" child, the perfect number two children, or double-digit multiple children. If you aren't sipping a soda with a friend as your families hang out and it just comes up, its none of your business if someone's children are biological, custodial, adopted nationally or internationally.
If you are the target of such uninvited backlash, consider it an invitation from God to interact with someone you might not have otherwise met. Respectfully ignore or disregard their unintentionally hateful comments and seize the opportunity to love them. Keep your cool and maybe engage them in conversation about Who gave you these little blessings. I'm not saying do the cheesy, "I know my hands are full but you should see your hearts" reply. I mean be real. Since they began the taboo conversation about your littles, refocus the conversation on another taboo topic, Christ. Keep in mind, your children are obviously right there with you {hence the stares} so make sure your example is that of love toward your child's existence as well as the rude person's in which you are encountering. Both where creations of God and have a purpose- to bring glory to God. Take the time to help them accomplish that purpose.
Here is an article about 10 Things You Really Shouldn't Say to Mom's of Multiples as well as a little video that can help you determine if what you are thinking about saying to someone is appropriate:
IF YOU WOULDN'T SAY IT ABOUT A BOOB JOB... from Rain City Church on Vimeo.
