For a girl who likes routine, consistency, and predictability, learning to breath, take breaks, enjoy the moment, and contentment is surprisingly hard for me.
I would think if I thrive on routine then I would prefer mundane seasons. If consistency and predictability are my thing then why can't I just breath enjoying to moments of rest with contentment. I am learning to find joy in the now. Being a planner, I fight myself rushing to check the next box in my over-planned life. Some days, I need a good cry to keep me in a position of stillness.
I guess I'm longing for a permanence. Thinking if I check off a list, which ever aspect of life that might be, I'll get one step closer to never having to change again. All the while being unsettled with the rhythm of now. Trusting God's timing is an issue for most of us.
As a mom, I routine our days to death trying to trudge through meal, nap, school, bath, bed times. I don't want to miss the bright-eyed childhood full of squabbles, selfishness, and big blunders.
As a church planters wife I want to rush to throw up walls in our new building to move on to the bigger and better things He has in mind to use us for through that resource. I don't want to miss building relationships in this process.
As a foster parent hoping to be someone's forever family, I miss opportunities in the now to love every part of the journey, each child's milestone, every family's success. I don't want to miss important lessons that will be invaluable for our future family no matter what that portrait might look like someday.
I don't want to live the expression "work for the weekend". I want to fully live the now.
I know God has lessons in the journey. That's the point right?! Why else would we be stuck here after choosing to trust and follow Him with our lives rather than being swept away to spend eternity in His face-to-face presence?
Proverbs 16:99 says, "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." Life is a dance. We can try to plan what style dance that might be but God knows the steps to orchestrate the perfect routine. Only in humbly seeking God's will for our lives can we find comfort in the unknown ahead and thrive in the now.
Anyone else struggling to breath in the sweet aroma of the now?
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