I feel most days that my greatest responsibility is to not screw up my kids.
Decisions for them determine my entire day:
when do I make them wake up,
what should I feed them,
how much school work should I complete with them each day,
when should I allow screen time,
how do I teach them to be responsible with their things but not OCD,
have we talked about Jesus enough,
am I making them hate Bible study my requiring them to complete it before they start other things,
should I be dedicating more of my day to face-to-face correction,
are their hearts being changed or will they become sneaky little punks,
am I showing them grace enough,
am I too undisciplined with them,
am I teaching them to love others well!?!
My greatest responsibility is to show them Jesus "as we are going" but I don't know which decisions are the important ones. Everyone has their opinions on how to raise the perfect children but each of those seem to lead down roads of every extreme. I don't feel like I'm doing any realm of life well for them. There will always be someone out there doing each of them better. Each person that is more determined in a specific area always has an opinion on how I am not doing it right. OR I feel guilty for being that determined person when someone else comments about it; positively or negatively.
Prov 22:6 scares the snot out of me. Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Ehh!?! Well, what if I start my children off in the way I thought they should go but now I'm not so sure BUT now, even when they're old, they're not gonna turn from it. You can laugh or cry with me at that thought but I'm for real.
For now, I'm just gonna lay off the Dr Pepper in hopes of sleeping more soundly without all these worries floating around in my head. My prayer for me (and that one other mom feeling the same way) will be that I always remember my quiver full of arrows are a blessing from the Lord, I will try not to worry about tomorrow and all the troubles it has in itself, while God fills me with his incomprehensible peace.
*Psalm 127:3-5
*Matthew 6:33-34
*Philippians 4:6-7
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