Jack of Many Trades, Master of None

I think I've shared before about being a whiny junior higher. I vividly remember a conversation with friends where I complained about the travesties of being ME in 7th grade. I nagged on and on during our choir class because during our voice range testing, I'd been placed as a "second soprano". Ah the days of non-sense drama.

I explained how awful the assignment was. I apparently couldn't sing high enough to be a 1st soprano or low enough to be an alto. This was reassurance of one of my biggest fears: I'm mediocre. I was the middle child. I was in a middle class family. I considered myself not "hot" but not "ugly" and not "fat" but not "skinny". I was average height. I made average grades. I had friends but they were all from different "group" that I wasn't necessarily in.

I was ordinary.

Okay, maybe a bit extreme but I think some of you might relate. Somehow, made in the image of the amazingly, loving, thoughtful, creative, extraordinary God to simply turn out ordinary. I felt, and often still feel like I'm missing something. My "calling". My "thing". My way to ooze all that God has pour into my creation as a way to shine His glory.

Chewbacca Mamma, Candace Payne described it best when she reassured students {and me} recently when she said, "...sometimes I wake up and feel like a jack of many trades yet master of none."

{you can skip to 7:00 minutes to get to the part I'm talking about}

That "creative buzz" going on constantly; stirring so many ideas and sometimes not allowing for completion before another one takes over sometimes makes me feel like a flake with no follow through. Maybe that's why I'm mundane- my passion shifts?

Then, amidst my devaluing thoughts, it occurred to me again and again. Adding up all the seemingly random things I've been involved in up until this part of my life have all been mixed into a casserole. A couple years ago, I would have thought that casserole was The Valley church that my husband and I planted her in central AR. I saw how God mixed in our years of youth ministry that included fundraising, creative/cheap space creation, sexual integrity programs, baby sitting, substitute teaching, community involvement, organizing trips, organizing/renovating/decorating multiple homes, leading volunteers, making videos, starting a blog, utilizing social media outlets, dabbling in graphic design, learning wise financial practices and the list goes on and on. Even living in multiple places around the state has created a large network of support in what we are doing at The Valley.

Let me just say, I will be 32 in a couple months and God's not done with me yet! I have decided I am refusing to let helping planet a church at the age of 28 be my High, life goal, sole purpose in how God wants to use my life. Not even this amazing journey as a foster family is the end-all be-all of what God could use my minuscule life for.

I recently found The Find {budumpbump}.

Listening to the stories in just season 1 made me realize that God prepared those families to through their thirties for what His ultimate plan was for them. They talked about unfulfilled dreams, mastering skills, saving, and then moving when the time was right. I'd even be willing to bet that even what they're doing now is NOT the end and all the things God used to prepare them for now can stand alone as significant in the ripple effect they have in God's plan.

With all that being said, this is me. Today. The day I am pouting once again. Believing the lie that I am ordinary and God might just leave me that way with all my hard head, dark heart, and lazy spirit. Wondering if I should... stick with blogging {I do love writing and rambling}, refinishing furniture {we could benefit from replacing another vehicle}, embark on new endeavors further within the Foster Care system {I do love babies}, finish and attempt to publish the books I've started writing, or so many other random trades I've dabbled in. Waiting for further direction and dreams to play out that I didn't even know I had.