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When I started this post some time ago. I was planning on heading in a completely different direction. I planned on sharing with you what God has been teaching me about His character {bahaha}. How He wants me to parent in His image.
10 min later I found myself in the middle of an un-anticipated list of questions/statements. I was about to begin responding to the list that ended up being about even more than just parenting. I realized it was all in an attempt to defend myself. To defend my parenting. My lifestyle choses. My convictions. I was out once and for all to prove I. Was. Right. Right?
WRONG
I deleted my self-righteous list. The list of statement and questions I've heard and memorized. The list swirling around and around in my head. The list I held tight to, breeding hatred. Breeding anger. Breeding this giant attempt at a patronizing slam on any and everyone I've ever come in contact with who wasn't my fan. I left the space where the list was beginning to develop. I wanted to show myself {and confess to others}, not my holiness, but my SIN. Just the beginnings of my sin. Barely the surface of my deep darkness of my sin.
This has been my life as long as I can remember. SIN. Even more so over the past couple years. {more deep breaths} I need not defend myself when in the center of God's will. If He is for me, who can be against me? But more importantly--> There is nothing good in me to defend. There is no defense before a Holly God than the blood of Christ. Anything good in me is Jesus. I have nothing to boast in but Jesus.
Forgive me Lord for thinking I have it all together. Forgive me for slandering others in attempt to seem more worthy of your love, forgiveness, mercy, and compassion. Change my heart!!!!
I need to apologize to you, as readers, friends, and fellow bond-servants of Christ, for thinking I'm any more than a sinner saved with the same blood as anyone else. God did not give me this place to gain glory for myself or to tear other down. All I have is to glorify HIM.
Free Printable: There is Nothing good in ME {let this be our prayer reminder}:
Your level of honesty is deeply appreciated. Thank you for humbling yourself to all of us.
Thanks. Praying this wasn’t overly dry and depressing but it’s just where I am. I am attempting to give a true picture of my life rather than the just how-tos and cute pictures about how I wish life was all the time.