Little Girl, Big Book

Mags is a big dreamer!

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She currently wants to learn how to install side rear window wipers. She feels kids would highly benefit from this invention on rainy days.
This dream has led her to the "research" section of the public library, learning all she can about repairing wipers in hopes of figuring out the engineering of her endeavor.

<<disclaimer: I'm terrible at letting my kids lead in learning. Mags has begged for months to go research. I've been overwhelmed and reluctant to take her. I'm also reluctant to encourage things like this bc I am unqualified and don't know how best to assist her. Although, THIS is my desire- for her to be a life long lover of learning.>>

#rothacheracademy #girlsinSTEAM

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Reluctant Reader

I *caved* this school year and allowed Iz to listen to audiobooks for rest time rather than solely reading.
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She is winding down the end of her 1st grade year and is a reluctant reader. She's always done things in her own way and in her own timing. In any other realm, I'd be claiming this trait as a victory. But when it comes to something that I've claimed as my responsibility, to educate my child, I honestly feel embarrassed. Not of my Child but of My inability to infuse her with the desire to learn this skill.
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#homeschooling comes with its own list of insecurities, comparisons, and self-made-expectations. I can say out loud to anyone who questioned my child's level of reading with research and facts about children learning at different paces, children needing tons of unstructured play time to develops, and how my main focus in homeschooling isn't state mandated standards. The #realness is, I feel shame in my perceived failure.
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Insert Audiobooks:
Instilling a love for STORY is a must for a reluctant reader to, well, wanna. We have been hunting down great stories. Classics. Sillies. Coordinating sometimes with big sis' reading list. I am starting to see fruit. The desire to know the story. The independence will soon take over the lack of confidence and she will will herself to learn this skill; like all the others this far.
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This week's story--> #judymoodyandstink The Big Bad Blackout 
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Using a Responsibility Chart for Multiple Children

I found this awesome Responsibility chart made by Melissa and Doug at a consignment event. It comes with all kinds of magnets to create a very unique chart.

How to Use a Responsibility Chart with Multiple Children

I think most families use it as a kind of "sticker chart" by rewarding kids with smilies when they do something. BUT you know I can use very few things for just their intended purpose. I use the magnets to assign jobs for the week. The kids rotate jobs each week so they learn to do all the household chores. I've also started assigning table chores to be done after eat meal. I paired the most difficult household chore with the simplest table chore.

I use the bottom dry erase part to group things they're all supposed to do daily- the ones they don't earn commission for doing.

Over the years, the commission pricing has changed a lot. I'm still a cheap mamma living on a tight budget but I understand the benefits of paying my children to do some chores so they are learning to manage money...even if its not a lot. These days, I pay based on the difficulty of the chore. I also use commission that can be visually seen in a single coin. They're learning the value of coins, and mamma can easily count it out on pay day. 😉

  • Laundry/clear the table earns $0.25
    I load/start laundry every night and the children move the clean load into the drier the next morning and then sort it into each bedrooms' basket when its dry
  • Dishes/wash the table earns $0.10
    I load/start the dishwasher [usually just] every night and the children unload/put away all the clean dishes the next morning; most dishes are down low for this reason
  • Trash/Dog/Sweep earns $0.05
    Our dog sleeps in a kennel every night and the children let the dog out in the morning and feed the dog once in the morning and once at night
    They empty the small bathroom trashcans every morning, occasionally help their daddy take out the big kitchen can, and the night before trash day they help take the outside cans to the street and bring them in after it's been picked up

Each child in our house is color coded meaning, they know based on the color on the chart which chore they're on that week. Color coding may seem odd, but with lots of littles its super helpful in lots of areas. {ie Cups: they get a single cup per day and we can always tell who lost theirs}

Responsibility Chart {with cousins}

This chart is how I broke it down when my niece and nephew came for a week. THEY ask to be put on the chore chart for the record. And yes, it's in age order. We start "training" our children on chores around 2 or 3 years old and by 4, they "get to be on the chore chart".

This chart is very helpful for our family. Do you use anything similar? How does it work for your family?

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Back-to-School Supply Shopping Tips {Thoughtful Thursday}

I am often annoyed that Hobby Lobby has fall decor out before 4th of July or that Christmas decor is everywhere in stores before Halloween BUT I might be in the minority when I get gitty when school supplies show up in stores. Eeeek The smell of sharpened pencils, clean new binders, shelves upon shelves of crayola colorfulness!

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I have been preparing my school supply list for the 2-16/17 school year already. Part of my prep included scouring the internet for the best prices on the items on my list. Here's a quick overview of what I've found that might save you some time and money::

  1. Staples price matches 110% of any {even online} sale price. This is #1 because I feel like it could cut down on shopping time by going to a single store. They will not only match a price but give you 10% off on top of that. example: Staples glue $2, Walmart glue $1, Staples glue now $0.90
  2. 7 ways to save with Staples, stack them all!
  3. Walmart's app has a "Savings Catcher".  This means you scan receipt on the app and if competitor advertises lower price, they'll give you the difference.
  4. Target cartwheel app has tons of great coupon deals AND Target Red Car saves you 5% every time you use it and it connects to your checking account, acting just like a debit card. No more forgetting to pay that store credit card you have just for the discounts.
  5. Walmart vs Target cheat sheet to get the best prices {if you don't have a staples to match their prices 110%}.
  6. Tax Free Weekend! Arkansas' will be Aug 6th through Aug 7th. HERE is the list of qualifying items for Arkansas.
  7. Homeschoolers can register your "school" with Office Depot for their 5% cash back. You can have anyone you know use your school name to put their 5% cash back towards. If you don't have a school you use yet, ROTHACHER ACADEMY of Vilonia Arkansas would love your support. 😉
  8. Homeschool moms can register with Staples for teacher discounts.
  9. Christian Books website has a $1 sale right going on right now through Aug 18th. It includes some books that would be great for homeschool.
  10. Deals from several store that you need to grab up This Week!
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Why I Make My Kids ASK Me For Things

You know that thing where your kids mingle with other kids making you acutely aware of a random parenting strategy you're sold-out to and didn't even know it before the particular encounter!? Yeah, that. All the time. x10 with foster friends coming and going.

Why I Make My Kids ASK Me For Things

One that came to my attention recently was the fact that, early on, I make my kids ask for things politely. Like not just "please" added to the end of a statement but an officially-in-the-form-of-a-question ask me. We have met several children that will come to me with random statements and walk away totally confused at why they didn't get what they wanted. This particular strategy started because I didn't want my kids barking orders at me and/or assuming I could read their minds in order to fix their stated issues.

Example 1:

"I'm hungry." OR This or thirst are the Most common I hear. Am I the only one frustrated by this? Holy cow, just tell me what you want already. I've learned most of the time, they make this statement because they know the answer already- "It's not meal time yet", "____ is what's for snack", "Your water bottle is right there." Be best is when I say, "Can you ask me politly" and they say, "...I'm thirsty....please?" False.

Example 2:

"I'm bored." To which I usually respond, "Only boring people get bored...are you boring?" This usually solves it but occasionally they'll come up with something they'd like me to do in order for them to 'fix' their boredom.

 

Then it progressed to not wanted to play ref all day. I needed them to be able manage some of this on their own. I wanted them to understand norms {not "fair"} in our world and be able to deal.

Example 3: 

"They won't give me [insert random toy]." My job as a parent is not to police the usage of your toys. No I will not set a timer. No, I'm not going to make him 'be done' with it just because you walked in and wanted it. Thanks to Daniel Tiger, I can often sing my response, "FIND A WAY TO PLAY...TOGETHER!" 😉

Example 4:

"MO-om! ___ called me [insert childish name-calling]" Ugg, I failed AS I'm writing this with a response like "Tell ____ to change their attitude and words or they'll be going to timeout". Boo I'm wishing I'd said, "Are we supposed to talk to each other that way? [no] How would you like me to help with that?" To which they would ideally say, "Can you talk to ____ about how they're talking to me mean?"

Example 5:

"She won't do her part of the job." THIS one is the most rare but the hardest to not get involved in based on the statement presented. It never fails that in a 'group chore' someone doesn't pull their weight or there are too many bosses with ideas of their own. Once a request for my assistance is made, I try to talk to both sides reminding them that "sometimes people don't do their share and the job still has to get done" and "laziness is not an option in our family," "find a way to work together."

 

How I've began to eliminating these problem statements from my children's vocabulary: [insert awesome 90s Spice Girls' music] "Tell me what you want, what you really really want." Kidding, kinda not kidding.

"Please think about what how you would like me to help you solve that problem. When you have decided, ask me for something, to do something, to help you somehow."

After most of my acute-parental-awareness moments, I start thinking if it really matters. Does this parenting strategy not only make my life easier in some way but does it actually benefit my children long-term. I believe making kids ask me for things benefits them in the following ways.

Thinking Skills

Making my children stop and THINK rather than just "stating their problem" to me makes them learn to stop, think, and then act. This is a key skill in life that so many individuals don't have or need to build. If more people would stop and think about something BEFORE acting/saying, the world would have a lot less issues.

Identify Needs

When kids stop to think they are forced to identify their own needs. Most of the time, they've already stated what they perceive as their problem but in that moment of pause, they can then ID what they need/want in the situation. If they pause long enough, they could even decide if what they are complaining about is based on a Need or a Want.

Problem Solving Skills

When my kids stop, think, and then act, they will learn to problem solve on their own. In life, their will not be [nor should there be] a 'mamma' on speed dial or worse, standing next to them to help problem solve. My kids need to be able to identify their needs, and come up with a solution on their own.

Social Skills

Understanding how to present a well-thought-out problem, with everyone's needs in consideration, to someone my kids see as a resource for help requires a lot of social skills. Without being able to navigate society properly, our kids will either be constantly under our wing or failing about drowning.

Independence

Learning to work through the above skills on their own will train my kids to be healthy independent people. I'm not talking about little kids who just happen to care for themselves out of neglect or kids who roam alone because they're considered 'old enough'. I mean, I will feel confident in my kids ability to navigate tough stuff on their own if they can do these things.

Manors

Manors are the icing on the cake! Although many individuals can function in society without them, I believe it will not only benefit my kids, socially advancing them, but manors are also another way to show love/respect to others; putting others before ourselves.

 

Don't get me wrong, it takes a lot of reiteration. I'm better at reminding them for the simple things but I often find myself in the middle of their kid drama before I realize it. For some kids, it will take much longer and more detailed explanations the first few times. For most of my kids I can simply say, "can you make that a question" or "how would you like my help with that?"

Do you think there are benefits to making your kids "ask" for things or am off in left field here?

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