Why Would I Talk about My Depression?

Because God uses story to binds us, His most priced creation.

God uses story to Bind Us, His most priced creation

I remember fretting over whether or not to publish my story, the beginning of my journey living with depression. I worried I was slipping further and further away and all I need to do was get closer to Jesus. The Christian world doesn't talk about "mental health." Even the few people in my past that I knew dealt with or had dealt with anything of the sort acted as though satan had taken a hold in their lives and then Jesus delivered them from it, leaving me feeling, once again, like a faithless Christ-follower. An imposter. The others dealing with this just didn't talk about it. Some didn't deal with it. If there was family history, you just brushed it behind that giant neon green elephant in the room and acted like it wasn't apart of who they were, where they'd been, or even what they were living in at the moment.

Depression is:
a mental condition characterized by feelings of severe despondency and dejection, typically also with feelings of inadequacy and guilt, often accompanied by lack of energy and disturbance of appetite and sleep. Synonyms: unhappy, sadness, melancholy, misery, sorrow, woe, gloom, low spirits, heavy heart, despair, hopelessness, etc

The Main Causes of Depression:

There are lots of things that can increase the chance of depression, these are just some of those:

  • Abuse
  • Certain medications
  • Conflict
  • Death or a loss
  • Genetics
  • Major events
  • Other personal problems
  • Serious illnesses
  • Substance abuse

Pretty much, it's all Serotonin's fault. It's one of many brain chemicals, the one associated with "happy feelings". Depression, no matter the cause, is a chemical imbalance in the brain.

God has given me writing as a tool to work through the stuff floating around in my head. I often read something, hear about hot topics and am not quite sure what my option is on it. Maybe that's a middle-child thing. Anyways. Not only does writing help me walk myself through how I think about things it helps me identify how I feel. It gets all that emotion out of me. Sometimes its super silly and others it's totally nasty. Some I publish and some are still "drafts".

Depression is one of those "draft" topics God has ask me to open up with others rather than just He and I {and my computer}. I wasn't sure why at first but after the anxiety of pressing the publish key, I felt relief. Like this was one less thing satan was holding over me. One less 'secret' he could use against me. One less thing I feared if it came out. It was out. It didn't matter how anyone responded to it. I was free. That's all I needed, to shake those chains off.

Talking about my depression hasn't *fixed* it. I so wish it had. Sadly {budump bump}, I still take a medication to help levelize the chemicals in my brain. It helps me feel less...crazy. Psycho mom. Yeah, I said "less". Again, I wish this was a healing story as some may have come looking for but this is something I'm still walking through. The term bipolar comes to mind at least once a month as I experience good days and then very quickly bad days. {Thanks Aunt Flow. Rrrrr}

I guess, I'm writing this as a follow up of sorts. God has confirmed over and over again that my tiny little blog and a simple post series about my experience are a blip in the conversation that so desperately needs to be blown wide open in the Christian community.

From long-distance, life-long, and in-my-own-back-yard friends, there is someone I know who is secretly going through this alone. Satan is winning if we hide, ashamed, in the dark. He wins if we can't confess our habitual brokenness. He wins if we hide it, protect ourselves against the murmurs that 'might' happen. We are unable to fully grasp the gospel in our personal, well-worn lives. We are denying that we need Christ's blood to ooze into this crevices in our world, as if He didn't already know about it.

From former students, my own peers, or strangers, confessions of living my story have tumbled in! Do you know what that did? Shamed us? Killed us with that gut wrenching pain? NO! It bonded us. I'm not even just talking about believers being bonded over suffering from the same downfalls. I'm talking Across. The. Board. God wants to unite. Glue together. Tether. Fasten. Attach. Knot. Eternally Secure His most prized creatures to one another and Himself.

#realness is my anthem!
This verse my song.
Boast *happily* in weakness!

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

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#mommied Monday: Dinner

In honor of Mother's Day coming up, I'm going to be sharing stories {possibly weekly} that makes ya wanna say, "BOOM! You just got Mommied!" because it is a super power ;) Often we feel like we just got owned by our children in the small battles so we need some encouragement when we don't lose!

#mommied Monday Dinner

I need my 6-year-old daughter to finish her dinner and she can be slightly picky at times. I sized up what she had left of the tiny portions I had given her then challenged my competitive child. "I bet it will take you 10 bits to finish all that. You might be here all night." She could stand the thought of sitting there longer than everyone else and knew with appropriate size bites there was no way it would take 10 bites. She ate up what was left in like 4 bites and “beat” me. #mommied

I would LUUUUUUVE if you would share your #mommied stories with us on the as Jules is going facebook page or find me on Instagram to share awesome documentation of your #mommied moment! Don't forget to use the hashtag so we can all find it. Maybe by the time Mother's Day gets here we will all feel the true power God has given us as mommies to train up His lil blessings.

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Celebrating Valentine’s Day with Lots of Littles 2015

I know Valentine’s Day is totally a commercialized holiday BUT since its everywhere, it can be super cute and fun to decorate for, AND because Jesus is all about L.O.V.E. we ‘celebrate’ it.

Simply Celebratine Valentine's Day with Lots of Littles

In years past {shortly after the evil Pinterest reared its evil head} I was so methodical, preplanned, over-the-top, and giddy about this holiday. We had tons of decorations, lil parties, a love note 'station', etc. Now…I think I have too much on my plate or I’ve gotten incredibly lazy. Or maybe both.

This year, the only things I’ve managed to actually do on my wishful list of v-day fun is get the tiny mailboxes out {minus the entire Love Note Station}, let the kids put up some window clings, printed some of the homeschool <3 activities, and send invitations for a Kids’ Valentine’s Day Party {aka Parents Night Out} for Valentine’s Day evening {similar to last years}.

Here are more themed resources:

Math, Graphing, Addition/Subtraction, Patterns

Sorting, other PreK FREE Printables, for Toddlers

Games: Shooters

Beginning Sounds, Sight Words, Dialogue, Word Matching

Science: 13:13 Experiment, Conversation Heart Experiment, "Exploding Heart" Experiment, Every Candy Experiment Known to Man

Art/Craftiness: LOVE hands, Homemade Valentine's for Friends and or for Neighbors

And of course, I’ve pinned about a thousand more Valentine's Day ideas on Pinterest if you want some inspiration to go big! AND if you haven't come up with a win win win Valentine's Day gift for your man {or the entire family}, I highly recommend {aff link} Union28! Yeah know, 'cause my hubs rocks!

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#mommied Monday: Superhero Recruit

In honor of Mother's Day coming up, I'm going to be sharing stories {possibly weekly} that makes ya wanna say, "BOOM! You just got Mommied!" because it is a super power ;) Often we feel like we just got owned by our children in the small battles so we need some encouragement when we don't loose!

#mommied Monday recruiting superheros

I needed my 4-year-old son to help clean up some toys before bed but he was very into playing with his brand new superhero toys he’d gotten for Christmas. I went to him and told him I had a very important mission for him and his hero friends. Looking at me excited he ask, Yeah?! What? I walked him to the closet, knelt down and secretly showed him the pile of card games and said they needed to be rescued and placed in the giant tub for safety. I ask if he was brave enough to go into the dark closet and strong enough to pick them all up. He responded with a hardy YES and went right to work. #mommied

I would LUUUUUUVE if you would share your #mommied stories with us on the as Jules is going facebook page or find me on Instagram to share awesome documentation of your #mommied moment! Don't forget to use the hashtag so we can all find it. Maybe by the time Mother's Day gets here we will all feel the true power God has given us as mommies to train up His lil blessings.

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#mommied Monday: Leftover Lunch

In honor of Mother's Day coming up, I'm going to be sharing stories {possibly weekly} that makes ya wanna say, "BOOM! You just got Mommied!" because it is a super power ;) Often we feel like we just got owned by our children in the small battles so we need some encouragement when we don't loose!

BOOM! #mommied leftover lunch

The play/school room was a disaster and it was time for lunch. I walked in and announced the pre-lunch "game". I assigned each child a “center” and who ever won got to be the first one to pick which leftover they wanted to eat for lunch. The ‘babies’, ‘dress-up’, and ‘kitchen’ were cleaned up super-fast AND the goofs thought leftovers were a reward. #mommied

I would LUUUUUUVE if you would share your #mommied stories with us on the as Jules is going facebook page or find me on Instagram to share awesome documentation of your #mommied moment! Don't forget to use the hashtag so we can all find it. Maybe by the time Mother's Day gets here we will all feel the true power God has given us as mommies to train up His lil blessings.

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