Fit Chips {nothing to do with fitness}

Do you have lots of littles? Or even just a single little who knows how to throw a fit about Every. Tiny. Minimal. Pointless. Non-life-threatening. Thing? Yeah, me too!
Fit Chip [has nothing to do with fitness] Strategy to minimize Fit-Throwing, tantrums, melt-downs, whatever you want to call them within families with lots of littles and Lots Of Fits

Currently, we have 6 littles under the age of 7 years old. Besides the tattling, fit-throwing is the most common offense in our home. While we are still using our "Rocking Behavior" chart to handle most of those, I decided today that FITS were gonna have to be treated like a sacred thing. Before you tell me that fits can't be limited, I once grounded my daughter from her imaginary friends during nap time. Absurdity in parenthood is my forte.

Do you ever catch yourself ignoring the screaming your child is doing because they've 'called wolf' too many times and it doesn't mean anything anymore? I often "change my name" for the same reason. In my opinion, fits should be reserved for worth-while circumstances. Like death.

You throw a Fit, you pay a Chip.

How to create and follow through with this system:

  • I created cups to hold each child's chips as well as a Fit Chip Collection tub. For about 5 minutes, I was going to use empty baby food jars but So we ended up using an old frosting tub and 6 laundry detergent cups. Cut up index cards and packing tape took care of the labeling and I cut a giant hole in the lid for easy deposits.
  • Next came the budgeting and consequence/reward system: I used plastic gold treasure coins we already had. Every one of my homeschool kids got 3 chips and those who attend public school got 2 because they were here way less of the day.
  • For any reason, if a child screams, cries, hollers- as soon as it happens, they go pay me a chip, then we deal with the event {exception is actual blood is involved or assistance is needed for injury}. Our first day actually solved this problem pretty quickly. As soon as they thought about screaming because they didn't get the color plate they wanted they would laugh because they didn't want to give me a chip.
  • If they run out of chips, simply say, "NO! You can't afford to throw another fit. You're out of chips." If they continue, create consequences and follow through. For us, they will drop their clip on the "Rocking Behavior Chart".
  • If they have chips left at the end of the day they get to move their clip up for every chip they have meaning it pulls them out of consequences or pushes them into fun rewards.

Example 1: My children were playing in the backyard when Mags (7) came in screaming. Assuming she was hurt, but not badly because she was walking, I said, "Go pay me a chip." When she responded, "But I'm really hurt." I said, "That's what they're for! I'm sorry you wasted them. I hope you don't get hurt again." She went and paid me a chip and then we discussed how she got kicked in the head on the slide but was really trying to get someone in trouble for the accident.

Example 2: J the man (4) lost all his chips {because he's exhausted and threw fits about Everything} so he ended up falling off the behavior chart, lost his iPad time, movie, AND earned a slightly early bedtime. Although devastated, he's healthier for each of those consequences in my opinion. LOL

Example 3: Iz (5) has a chip remaining which earned her 5 extra minutes of iPad time tomorrow.

Example 4: El {almost 2} has no clue what's going on yet but when she threw a fit because I wouldn't give her the drink she screamed for, I told her "Nope. Pay me a chip. {snicker} Pulled a chip from her cup and said, "That just cost you a chip." She stopped and stared at me confused.

Example 5: M and P (4 and 6) thew fits about having to clean up toys and all the other children shook their heads and said, "Sorry. You have to go pay mamma a chip."

I don't know how long it will last but its fun and kinda working for now. What kinda of shenanigans have you pulled on your kids that get results?!

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Educational Tips for Using Halloween Candy And a Fun Ways to Get Rid of It!

Hello mamma with loot of Halloween candy you desperately need to make disappear! It's not even Thanksgiving/Christmas season yet and we are all gaining poundage by the minute with all this "fun sized" candy laying around. To start with, use the candy for fun "educational" tools. This will get this kids thinking of the candy as more than just for eating as a snack. Then I've got some ideas to help you sneak out that candy or to get the kids excited with you about all the "opportunities" you have to share it in fun ways.

Examples of HARD Halloween Candy that you can get rid of by using in Operation Christmas Child Boxes

Education Uses for Halloween Candy:

  • Math Sorting: by chocolate vs fruity, by type, by size, and then you can break them down into color for things like MnMs and Skittles.
  • Math Graphing: learning about graphing by creating lines of candy next to one another can create bar graphs and you can discuss greatest, least, same, most popular, grossest, weirdest, etc.
  • Science experiments: this can run from anything like "which melts fastest" to "which one dissolved in _____ the fastest". This will be fun but the candy still won't have to be eaten.
  • Language Lessons: alphabetical order according to name of candy, mad libs, compound words, etc.


10 Ways to Rid The House of Halloween Candy:

  1. Operation Christmas Child Boxes: our number one way to "share" our bounty is by sorting out the hard, non-melty, non-chocolate candies for kids who don't have any candy much less an entire loot
  2. Cookies for Friends and Neighbors: MnM cookies, monster cookies, better than anything cake with candy toppings,
  3. Nursing Homes: make your candy a good excuse to go make some new friends who may need a visit
  4. Stockings: we've totally done this! Put back a little bag of each child's favorite candy and scatter it into their stocking.
  5. Birthday Party Pinata: smacking a pinata is always fun but can be expensive to stuff if you don't already have the candy laying around
  6. Party Favors: if your kids birthday {or a friends kids'} are near Halloween, make up some stuffed goody bags Full of candies.
  7. Neighbor Treats: holiday themed treats like Turkey cookies
  8. Work Candy Bowl: loose the pride and hose all your work friends by placing a bowl of goodies out that they can't resist.
  9. Waitress Tips: add to your generous cash tip for your waitress with a little goody pick-me-up for the night
  10. Bribery: forget the same and call it what it is, keep a few treats as school bribes for good, on-task, fast work.

I am SURE there are lots of other educational uses for the candy stash as well as creative ways to Get. Rid. Of. Candy. Boom! #mommied

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Being an Outgoing Introvert

I'm still learning myself. I think its important but not always valued to continue to figure not only your spouse, your kids and friends out but also yourself. Call me a bias due to my psych degree but I think understanding people and their story- what makes them them- is the key to loving people well.

Are you an Outgoing- Introvert 20 if you...questions to ask yourself

As much as I don't like to admit it, understanding yourself isn't always selfish but rather another key to being able to love others the best in the long run. I've always been fairly outgoing and enjoy the idea of hanging out with others, socializing, and having a rotating front door BUT when I was pregnant a couple of years ago {I can't believe its been that long ago :'( } I thought I had pregnancy-induced-introversion. Well, years later and lots of research I've finally decided I've been an introvert all my life. Just an outgoing-introvert. I wanna share just 20 of the ways I learned this about myself recently and maybe they can help you learn something about yourself as well.

You might be an Outgoing-Introvert if...

  • You love being around people but don't understand why they annoy you very easily.
  • You love being hospitable but have a hard time relaxing with the same people in a different environment.
  • You can NOT handle children trying to talk to you during nap/rest time.
  • You LOVE the time you get with your spouse to just watch TV or surf the web and consider it socializing.
  • You always volunteer to host the party because you're most comfortable in your own home but sometimes wanna go hide in your room.
  • You like being around people but don't necessarily wanna Have to talk to them.
  • You like working in public spaces but wearing glasses or a ball cap help you feel along enough to be productive.
  • You can be the life of the party who also needs to be the first to go to bed.
  • You prefer communicating via social media and text where you can control the rhythm of conversation.
  • You are D.O.N.E. with kids if you don't get alone time to re-energize every few days.
  • You prefer mulling over your thoughts on a topic to yourself and not chatting loosely about it in a group to find out how you feel about it.
  • You feel like you need a wing-man for basic every-day interactions to help you cope.
  • You can small talk well in person but it feels like a defense mechanism.
  • You are often the cog in a group that otherwise wouldn't function independently.
  • You have meltdowns occasionally because unforeseen circumstances need you to switch on your extroversion but it doesn't work that way.
  • You can be super charming but hate having to be and it exhaust you.
  • You get anxious about social events but tend to enjoy yourself once you're there {and don't have to stay long}.
  • You are often beyond awkward on phone calls.
  • You are very good at picking up on other's emotions and may feel the need to fix it for them.
  • You have Tons of acquaintances but don't have many close friends but the ones you do have are like blood relatives.


These thoughts were brought you by...

a stressed out homeshool mom who was kicked out of the house by her hubs upon entering their home because she needed to a cry break or alone time, aka the corner booth a Chick-fil-a where all the talking people annoyed her after failing to find cheap fake-glasses at the Target around the corner.

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Relational Issues within the Church

I've been hurt as well as hurt others recently and in the past a lot. We're humans with dark, wicked, little hearts. It happens. Things are assumed, words are flung, and drama can take over while bitterness sets in if we're not careful. I've learned some things from all this reoccurring drama. Women are so confusing! Hahaha We all know that though. But really, it we an fix things while avoiding drama and bitterness. It's kinda like a flow chart:

Fix-It Flow Chart

I joke, but isn't this our life as Christian women? Waiting for someone to do something thoughtless, selfish, or just dumb. It's exhausting on all kinds of levels. One of the biggest factors I've had to deal with is peoples misconstrued expectations of a relationship. Usually its an unbalanced "friendship" where one person is pulling most of the weight.

Kathy Escobar has an awesome description of relationships with non-believers where she explains how to become incarnation. You may want to look her's explanation but this is how I understand it and think it can be applied to all relationships. Who are you in any given relationship dynamic?

  • Paternal- The person who always assumes the provider roll in a relationship. Does life TO others placing themselves in a position "over" others. Meeting needs in the most logical ways. This creates oppression and set positions.
  • Maternal- The person who always assumes the fix-it roll in a relationship. Does life FOR others placing themselves in a position "under" others. Meeting emotional needs, providing counseling, encouragement, and advise. This creates bondage and codependency.
  • Siblimatic {my word, her's being Incarnational}- The person who gives and takes. Does life WITH people as an equal, leveling the balance of "power".


I'm sure identifying these categories in others was easy but did you see yourself in any of these? Some times these are heightened among those relationships we build within the Church. Whether that be with the pastor and his wife or other church members. I've seen it happen over and over again, where people have been or will become de-churched based on relational hurts. Sometimes pressures to be everyone or no one's BFF is heavy on clergy and often relationships are lop-sided- one of those unhealthy dynamics.

Friend or Church Member Check List

The main theme here is give-and-take. I think its hard to admit, we are not really "friends" with everyone we know and I might be the first to tell you this but...That Is Okay. Understanding the dynamic of a relationship can fix poor expectations and avoid drama and or bitterness when those expectations aren't met.

I've both had to admit I can't be everyone's friends as well as not everyone wants to actually be my friend. I have to be alright with this, not become too hard on myself, and take solace in the fact that Jesus had a variety of different types relationships. Jesus was always willing to give more than He took, He was fully God and fully man, therefore we should become self-less in our relationships, avoiding self-righteousness when others don't follow suit.

Do you have any other questions we could ask ourselves in determining our relational dynamics?


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Practical Ways to Care for Orphans

Do you wanna love the orphans around you? Ever wonder how you can help even if you're not at the place to open your for foster care? Do you know a foster family? Wanna know how you can help them?

Helping Kids in Foster Care Doesn't Have to Be Hard - practical tips for non-foster parents in aiding those in the system

We have only been "open" as a foster home for 3 and 1/2 weeks. We have already had 5 different children placed with us in that time. I'm slowly learning things to help this new adventure flow more easily. I'm also learning that, in a lot of ways, there's no way to prepare for most things. No one can give you an exact scenario of what to get ready for or what the best way is to love a child who it hurting. I wanted to share a few things that we have been blessed by either by accident or by amazing friends we are surrounded by.

When a child comes into care, they often have nothing with them. The rush to get them to safety and or within healthy amounts of supervision is more important than grabbing their essentials much less their wardrobe or favorite toy. If they do happen to grab something it comes often comes in a trashbag OR a DHS worker hurries to buy them items and those come in bags from the store. These kids might be terrified, sad, angry, but they will all most likely be a bit confused.

There are some practical items that can help children in care:


Providing backpacks or duffle bags to care belongings in can help these children feel more stable and dignified from the start.


Offering toothbrushes that can be given to each child can make a child feel as though they were prepared-for and special as well as provide hygiene.

Stuffed Animals/Sleeping Buddies

A stuffed animal or small stuffed character to be used as a comfort item or sleeping buddy can make transition a little less scary.

Personal Water Bottles

A personal water bottle for each child can give each child belonging well beyond the practicality of nourishment.

If you think these simple items are something you could help provide for kids? Locate you local DCFS {Department of Children and Family Services office}, the local CALL {Children of AR Loved for a Lifetime}, or foster families you know personal and I'm sure they would love your support! Thanks for your interest in aiding children who are orphaned, even if for just a while. Thanks for learning more and can't wait to hear if you have stories of being someone's FFSS {Friends and Family Support System}. It really does take a village!

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