Major Season Change

The Dark Ages are named was not because it was necessarily a period of "dark" hardship, season of gloominess, or anything like that. It was named such because it was a time period where not much was recorded in the way of narratives. Records were lost. There's little known about this period of time.

In the same way, I feel like I've been in a time marked by lack of story telling, recording history as seen through my and my families eyes, or even a period of perceived silence. My prayer is that with this new season change, God is moving me on to my own Renaissance. My family and I need a time period of rebirth, re-freshening, and rejuvenation.

With major season change comes a lot of hard things. These hard things in my life did not come as quickly as they may seem if you're hearing about them here for the first time. They're the hard things we've been praying through for months on end. We're trying not to ask belaboring questions about WHY. Does it matter? God is still God and His will is still going to be accomplished.

We are closing The Valley church and seeking full time ministry opportunities for our next season of life.

I'm not going to sugar coat it, I've been angry with God for not moving mountains, making the way easier, or answering prayers how I see fit. Sometimes trying to hide while ugly crying in public spaces. Life has been hard the last few months/year(s). Choosing to squeeze as many learning opportunities out of my Dark Ages has become my coping mechanism in order to be prepared for the next adventure God has for me, ideally in my Renaissance. Taking initiative to pressure cook our healing as a family through family counseling has been a good experience, helping us work through ALL the changing aspects of our lives.

Foster Care:
Children who were in our home for months and month, who had become part of our family, were finally able to return home. Children who were placed with us quickly, were just as quickly moved to another home when it looked like they would be in need of an adoptive family. New laws for our State that will pass in the summer have us questioning our next move with attempting to add children to our family.

Church:
We felt God tell us back in the summer that it was time to close the valley chapter of our lives but weren't given a timeline or a picture of what was to come next. We received mostly positive, reaffirming responses when we told close friends and family about the decisions, but those couple negative responses are the ones that eat away at us and make following Jesus that much harder. Being brave and casting resumes to new territory across the country is what God has us doing; as rejections seem to be what we're catching, it may just be His plan for us to pressing into Him more right now.

Homeschool:
Among all the other variables, I feel run ragged. I don't feel like I'm doing as well as I'd like teaching, training, or raising my children in general. Trying to decipher what's best for them (and me) in this season is tough. I don't have a peace about changing our current plan and putting them into public school but my bones ache with weariness of everyday house management, child rearing, and basic schooling much less the extraordinary learning and training I aspire to pour into them.

I'm hoping to learn how to process the seasons God is bringing me through. It's become increasingly difficult to respect the boundaries and privacy of many who come in and out of our lives but at the same time be able to chronically my own life. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have it any other way --> woven so closely in a community of messiness. But between church work, ministry, homeschooling, active involvement at local schools, foster care, and life, there's a lot of rough edges that catch me off guard. Wounds we earn, uncover, or even inflict. Pressing on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Phil 3:14) can, many/most days be exhausting.

If you would, pray for peace, continual guidance, and strength to stay the course for my family and me. Thanks for stopping by to read my ramblings.