12 years old and sitting in the backseat of my mamma’s fashionable station wagon, we pulled away from the church building that Sunday morning. I don’t remember what the details of the conversation where but somehow I ended up making the statement, “Well…I’m a Christian…” Without skipping a beat my mom responded, “Says who? You haven’t ever told anyone that.” I’m pretty sure there may or may not have been a reference to the whole, “deny me I’ll deny you” passage but I can’t be certain. And thus began my journey in knowing God.
You see, since the beginning of time…or at least the beginning of me, my family has always attended church. I heard all the great stories of the bible {G rated of course}, could sing the songs, and knew tons about God. I totally knew there was a God. I was too smart to think this all came about because a big mass of nothing exploded. My theory was, “I’ll just act like everyone else so they’ll see you don’t have to change anything to become a Christian.” How right and wrong that theory was all at the same time.
Yes, there is nothing you can change about your life, do better, or stop doing to earn the gift Jesus has given us but at the same time, when His spirit moves in...you are never the same again.
{that's another post for another time 😉 }
I chewed on my mom's truthful blunt statement for a while. Thinking. Seeking. Struggling. Yep...there needs to be a change in my life.
It's funny how God knows His intentions amidst your life, even before you fully commit to Him. He's just that good. I can just picture...
God's like a first time daddy holding his baby girl. She has no way of knowing the depth of love he already has for her. He enjoys rocking her. Protecting her. Guiding her heart. He dreams of what he'll teach her. The silly conversations they'll have. Watching her grow up and fall in love only to meet a guy that would love her as much as he does.
God's like a boyfriend holding an engagement ring the moment he met his love and waiting to give it to her until she finally realized they're meant to be. He dreaming about all the fun we're going to have. Deep, hard, emotional conversations that are to come. How we'll grow to be one.
God loves me so much that He wants to allow me to be a part of and used in HIS story. {swoon} Christ is my only hope and because of that, I wanted to serve Him the rest of my life.
The next year, I sat on an outside stair case reading my bible. I was falling more and more with my new daddy & the love of my life. Nothing would ever be the same. That day, I clearly felt God tell me I was gonna be a pastor's wife. I was totally cool with that. I had no idea what that meant but I was cool with that. And for some odd reason I prayed that we would be poor. LOL Maybe I thought that would keep me from being materialistic or maybe I just thought "poor" just came with being a "pastor's" wife. I digress...
Again, He knows me so well! All our relationship He seems to have given me hints of what was to come. Being the control freak that I am, I think He tries to ease my stress by letting me in on things slowly.
That backseat conversion was just the beginning of the crazy cool adventure God was planning on taking me on!
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