Major Season Change

December 14, 2018 by Jules 6 Comments

The Dark Ages are named was not because it was necessarily a period of "dark" hardship, season of gloominess, or anything like that. It was named such because it was a time period where not much was recorded in the way of narratives. Records were lost. There's little known about this period of time.

In the same way, I feel like I've been in a time marked by lack of story telling, recording history as seen through my and my families eyes, or even a period of perceived silence. My prayer is that with this new season change, God is moving me on to my own Renaissance. My family and I need a time period of rebirth, re-freshening, and rejuvenation.

With major season change comes a lot of hard things. These hard things in my life did not come as quickly as they may seem if you're hearing about them here for the first time. They're the hard things we've been praying through for months on end. We're trying not to ask belaboring questions about WHY. Does it matter? God is still God and His will is still going to be accomplished.

We are closing The Valley church and seeking full time ministry opportunities for our next season of life.

I'm not going to sugar coat it, I've been angry with God for not moving mountains, making the way easier, or answering prayers how I see fit. Sometimes trying to hide while ugly crying in public spaces. Life has been hard the last few months/year(s). Choosing to squeeze as many learning opportunities out of my Dark Ages has become my coping mechanism in order to be prepared for the next adventure God has for me, ideally in my Renaissance. Taking initiative to pressure cook our healing as a family through family counseling has been a good experience, helping us work through ALL the changing aspects of our lives.

Foster Care:
Children who were in our home for months and month, who had become part of our family, were finally able to return home. Children who were placed with us quickly, were just as quickly moved to another home when it looked like they would be in need of an adoptive family. New laws for our State that will pass in the summer have us questioning our next move with attempting to add children to our family.

Church:
We felt God tell us back in the summer that it was time to close the valley chapter of our lives but weren't given a timeline or a picture of what was to come next. We received mostly positive, reaffirming responses when we told close friends and family about the decisions, but those couple negative responses are the ones that eat away at us and make following Jesus that much harder. Being brave and casting resumes to new territory across the country is what God has us doing; as rejections seem to be what we're catching, it may just be His plan for us to pressing into Him more right now.

Homeschool:
Among all the other variables, I feel run ragged. I don't feel like I'm doing as well as I'd like teaching, training, or raising my children in general. Trying to decipher what's best for them (and me) in this season is tough. I don't have a peace about changing our current plan and putting them into public school but my bones ache with weariness of everyday house management, child rearing, and basic schooling much less the extraordinary learning and training I aspire to pour into them.

I'm hoping to learn how to process the seasons God is bringing me through. It's become increasingly difficult to respect the boundaries and privacy of many who come in and out of our lives but at the same time be able to chronically my own life. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have it any other way --> woven so closely in a community of messiness. But between church work, ministry, homeschooling, active involvement at local schools, foster care, and life, there's a lot of rough edges that catch me off guard. Wounds we earn, uncover, or even inflict. Pressing on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Phil 3:14) can, many/most days be exhausting.

If you would, pray for peace, continual guidance, and strength to stay the course for my family and me. Thanks for stopping by to read my ramblings.

Filed Under: as Jules is living, The DeChurched, The Ones about The Valley Church

Missional Living: When People Leave, Rewards Feel Scarce, and Things are Hard

January 8, 2018 by Jules 2 Comments

In Christianity, missional living is the adoption of the posture, thinking, behaviors, and practices of a missionary in order to engage others with the gospel message. Or at least that's what Wikipedia says.

I've talked some about what it looks likes to "live missionally" and even some practical tips for being missional in your community. As Facebook friends watch from afar, I'm sure it seems easy enough to #missionalliving to just about anything we do around here but today I wanted to share about when people leave, rewards feel scarce, and things are hard.

While Missional Living is simple, it's rarely if ever easy.

Starting off in a new town, community, and neighborhood is all together terrifying and exciting. Nearly 5 years ago we came to land where we are with a strong call on our lives to plant a church here. We did lots of research on the town, even visited other churches in the area to make sure we weren't doing what was already being done to spread the gospel, and then of course wrangled some other hopefuls in order to begin what we now call The Valley.

In our first year, we had typical pumps like staffing a nursery even though we were all so eager to take part in the services and meet new people, muster up creative ways to serve our community with little to no capital, find those to place in leadership with all the right motives, and even figure out how to branch out our ever growing small group. As that year pasted, we finished up some details on our meeting space and were beaming with pride right before a massive tornado took that space from us. The only affordable/available property in tiny but quickly expanding town. Even so, God showed up in a BIG way; providing us with an unexpected platform to share His gospel among the despair and for a bit, an influx in nickles and noses. People were yearning for the peace we had among the chaos.

Then, slowly, those nickles and noses faded. Due to misplaced faith, self-assurance returning, boredom, or even the lack of religiosity among us, people left our regular meetings to either better suited places or back to a state of being de-churched. I'm here to share the not-so-enticing side of church planting and missional living. Not to look for pity, to scare you away, or to say everyone's experience with this is the same but merely out of realness. When I google my experiences, no one else seems to have dealt with this and I have a hard time believing no one has, just that no one had share it yet.

Missional living articles will tell you how to share Christ as you are going. {HELLO- I am one of those, hence my blog name} Don't segregate yourself. Be involved with what you love, your passionate about, things you already enjoy and simply take Christ with you. A huge component of The Valley is the truth that The Church is not a building or a service we attend. The Church is the body of Christ, the believers who have made Him Lord, and live their lives accordingly. What most missional living articles will not tell you, is that so many of us have been religified, leaving us with no love, passion, enjoyment in anything that doesn't have a churchy purpose or title attached to it. We lack a life outside our churchy click. Even when we try to "share Christ as [we] are going", those we are among already know Christ; or at least think they do.

Missional living articles will tell you that leading someone to Christ takes masses of time. A true friendship takes an average of two years to develop. Reading someone the Roman Road in your first encounter will likely hinder that development. Sharing bits of the gospel as you develop is discipling. Allowing someone to belong before they behave is what Christ would have us do. What most missional living articles will not tell you, is that even after investing more than two years into a relationship, gradually sharing the gospel in applicable situations, allowing and encouraging someone to belong before they behave can still lead to them eventually claiming faith in Christ, all while running from you, spewing hatred about you and how you chose to lead them there. That the changed lives around you are slow and hard to count. That teaching adults biblical disciplines seems religious when they're coming from abusive-church backgrounds thus leading to immature believers.

Missional living articles will tell you that loving people on mutual ground is beneficial for everyone. That putting down the white-hero complex and admitting our need for aid from those outside our part of the church allows mutual respect to grown, aids relationship development, and benefits The Church as a whole. What most missional living articles will not tell you, is that some people will still feel like a project. No matter how hard you try to find giftings and ease your way into recruitment, we live in a consumerist world {at least as Americans} and people are very possibly looking for a church to meet their needs rather than sacrificing together for the furthering of His kingdom. People may choose to church-hop in the same manor that we store-hop looking for the best deals, only utilizing a store for parts. Caving to the pressure to offer services to keep someone will only result in them eventually leaving because no one/where can offer everything...oh, and because it's NOT about us.

Missional living articles will tell you how to live outside your home in order to love your neighbors. Be gracious with sinful lives. Be hospitable, with doors always open. What most missional living articles will not tell you, is what to do when people move away as quickly as they move in. When seasons change and neighborhood kids no longer want to play. They don't talk about people avoiding you out of their own self-shame because of their sinful lives. They don't tell you how to handle relationships that don't develop, even after two years.

Missional living articles will tell you being bi-vocational is one of the best routes for a pastor. It saves The Church money, allowing funds to be utilized in facilities, ministry, and missions. What most missional living articles will not tell you, is that while that is VERY true, finding the right vocation that allows enough time, income, and flexibility to still know your family, live where you're called to serve, and lead others in creative ministry to your community is beyond difficult therefore leaving certain areas of life to suffer.

Missional living articles will tell you is this way of doing ministry: living on mission for Christ, making everything you do no matter how big for small it seems, believing every relationship -new or old- is part of how Christ wants to use you in the every day to make much of Him. What most missional living articles will not tell you, is that doing such is hard, requires constant focus, yields little tangible [worldly] rewards. Living this way feels, at times, lonely as the rest of the christian world is counting their nickles and noses asking about yours...or lack there of. Living missionally feels that your meek, humble, quiet life is making no difference; especially compared to those creating huge non-profits, new ministries, innovative ways to change lives.

But God.

But God had called us all to different parts. I have to believe that in the Body of Christ, in some seasons, you can be a leg and others be an ear hair. All important. All loved. All utilized by Christ. Some of us will be called to wait upon God to "give us a child in our old age" while the rest of our lives we sat silent but steady. Some of us will begin to follow Christ in our last season and "die a martyr's death". Either way, we are loved and called to His purposes the same. Be encouraged today that no matter how pretty the insta-filter, everyone is trudging. Some seasons are sunnier than others.

What are we supposed to do when we are living out what the Bible says and things don't "fall into place"? What are supposed to do when you have to fight to serve a community?

Love Jesus. Seek Him and His will. Search for ways to do good and be love in His name. Pray for peace in what He continues to call you to and find contentment in His joy through the hard days. I wish I had better advise. Some days suck. Some weeks, months, years, "seasons" are super hard. Persevere.

Filed Under: as Jules is living, Missional Living, The DeChurched, The ones about the Rothacher Home

Enjoying My Supporting Roll in God’s Story

April 29, 2016 by Jules Leave a Comment

Two years ago, a traumatic thing happened in our small town- an F4/5 tornado took out most of the businesses, tons of home including an entire neighborhood, and many lives were lost. This happened just over a year after my husband and I moved our family here to plant The Valley church.

We constantly pray for God to teach us how live missionally: to love the community we live in, show new ways of share His love right where people are at in their lives, and grant us favor so door will be open to lead people to Him. That night in April, God handed us just that, on a filthy, demolished platter perfect for serving the hurt and searching town He sent us here to server.

The days following the storm, my husband and I were overwhelmed with the support from all the networks we had been apart of, long and short term. I was too much to keep up with. I often felt like I'd been given this huge responsibility and I was failing by not being able to manage all the help He was sending our way. Things have slowed down over the past two years...well, in comparison to those crazy couple months to after the storm.

This year as I scrolled through my archived private messages and "memories" on Facebook, I was overcome with guilt all over again. How I didn't answer some of the lost messages from friends and acquaintances, timeline post I wasn't sure I handed well enough, and most of all the lack of appreciation I didn't show those how fought through the pile off notifications to help us. I had high hopes of sending formal Thank You cards, letters of how prayers were answered, gifts were used, and just how very loved I felt. Even now, satan is making my insides hurt with remorse because I am so VERY thankful to be a minor character in this beautiful thing we are living.

God has taken these two years to reassure me that while we are all just supporting rolls, in God's story, that all points to Jesus, they're all important I have shared before that I often give up on things because I see someone else doing it, and likely way better. BUT God has plans and invites us to join the adventure of going on it with Him. We aren't called us to compare ourselves to others but rather support one another's part in the story.

Don't become arrogant when God's story starts playing out in front of you.

That's where focus is changed from what's most important or players get pulled.

Don't forget that the sun doesn't revolve around you.

The ONE who created light without that sun is where our focus should remain so we stay in the light.

Keep at the front of your mind, that EVERY story in this world points back to Jesus; whether it's acknowledged or not.

I want to make sure the story I'm in gives all glory where it belongs.

I guarantee you that this high schooler in our town was organizing volunteers sent her direction way better than I was. BUT God sent certain people along my path in life for such a time as this. He ask that I play a part in their story involving my town.

I know many of the women who worked the Play Place with me after the storm could have run it better, shared our story better, and accomplished more. BUT God ask that I run with it amidst my poor relational, communication, and organizational skills.

I promise, there were hundreds of other kids in our town that could have offered input on the new playground. BUT God saw fit to have my daughter and I as part of that planning team.

From schools, trips, camps, ministries, neighborhoods, and places we've passed through in live all showed up when God was ready for things to pan out that He's been writing since before I was born. Do you ever feel like you're not playing the part you want in the story of life? Be encouraged! Every [seemingly] small part in a story is valued.

When God ask you to play a repetitive, type-cast roll, Say Yes! When God invites you to play an unexpected drop-in roll, Say Yes! Because you never know when your story will change and there will be a big BUT GOD right after your YES!

Thank you, to at least 2 different countries, 14 different states, 37 different US towns, and MORE than 61+ different friends/acquaintances who shared a part in our Vilonia Tornado chapter through asking for prayer from their friends, collecting donations, sending necessities/gift cards/monetary support, delivered items, helped with clean up, and so much more! It's so humbling to be connect to each of you and really hope I didn't miss anyone. These are just the names I could find on my Facebook timeline and private message history not including my husbands:

Brittany Thompson- Ervington, AL
Kelsey Harris- Arkadelphia, AR
Danna Magness- Batesville, AR
Morgan Smith- Batesville, AR
Shadrack and Mellissa Black- Batesville, AR
Amy Howard- Benton, AR
Kathryn Doland- Bethel Heights, AR
Jessica Colley- Centerton, AR
Kim Stiles- Conway, AR
Morgan Williams- Conway, AR
Molly Jones- Conway, AR
Janna Chaffin- Dalton, AR
Cheryl Patterson- El Dorado, AR
Craig Herring- El Dorado, AR
Dana Rumph- El Dorado, AR
Deedra Nash- El Dorado, AR
Wanda Deason- El Dorado, AR
Hannah Henderson- Fayetteville, AR
Kelly Malancon- Fayetteville, AR
Sally Acosta- Fayetteville, AR
Johnathan Stoner- Floral, AR
Brandi Shinn- Greenbrier, AR
Cristin Jensen- Greenbrier, AR
Terri Nicholson- Greenbrier, AR
Amy Whisenhunt- Greenland, AR
Cindy Brantly- Little Rock, AR
Shane Harris- Little Rock, AR
Samantha Grant- Magnolia, AR
April Winn- Marmaduke, AR
Cathey Griffin- Parker's Chapel, AR
Fran Brotherton- Parker's Chapel, AR
Heather Gilmore- Parker's Chapel, AR
Jennifer McNab- Parker's Chapel, AR
Rita Snow- Parker's Chapel, AR
Rob and Amanda Waggoner- Parker's Chapel, AR
Julie Beavers- Pine Bluff, AR
Jessy Cutrell- Star City, AR
Doreen Keim- Siloam Springs, AR
Ashley Hall- Strickler, AR
Anja Spadoni- White Hall, AR
Candace Achorn- White Hall, AR
Shannon Paldino- Orlando, FL
Kate Stoner- Keokuk, IA
Jam'e Brown- Wichita, KS
Katie Archer-, Ruston, LA
Rebecca Dorobis- Rockport, MA
Patrick Sherrill- Alpena, MI
Karen DeBeus- Hope, NJ
Sami Roe- Midwest City, OK
Scott Jenkins- Norman, OK
Edna Cain- Sapulpa, OK
Betty Lin-Fisher- Akron, OH
MaryAnn Waltz- Milford, OH
Kathy Metivier- TX
Christine Hurt- Orem, UT
Abigail Assam- Lynchburg, VA
Heather Rennie- Aberdeen, Scotland
Jenny Sim- Aberdeen Scotland
Rachael Underwood- Insch. United Kingdom
Betty Pennington- ?
Justin and Crystal Murphy- ?

Thank You for playing your part in God's story!!!

Filed Under: as Jules is living, Missional Living, The DeChurched, The ones about the Rothacher Home, The Ones about The Valley Church

On Andy Stanley and The Size of Your ‘Church’

March 9, 2016 by Jules Leave a Comment

I believe Andy Stanley's statement hit a cord with so many in a negative way because there IS an [element] of true in it and as most things that sting, it's because there's a hint of personal guilt.

Stanley said:

When I hear adults say, “Well I don’t like a big church, I like about 200, I want to be able to know everybody,” I say, “You are so stinking selfish. You care nothing about the next generation. All you care about is you and your five friends. You don’t care about your kids [or] anybody else’s kids”… If you don’t go to a church large enough where you can have enough middle schoolers and high schoolers to separate them so they can have small groups and grow up the local church, you are a selfish adult. Get over it. Find yourself a big old church where your kids can connect with a bunch of people and grow up and love the local church. Instead… you drag your kids to a church they hate, and then they grow up and hate the local church. They go to college, and you pray that there will be a church in the college town that they connect with. Guess what? All those churches are big.

Read more of what Andy said HERE or listen to the full sermon HERE

Faced with the online outcry, Stanley apologized on Twitter, saying “The negative reaction to the clip from last weekend's message is entirely justified. Heck, even I was offended by what I said! I apologize.”

A wise WISE friend once told me something beyond profound when I message her about a big hurt someone had caused me with what they said. Fully expecting her to defend me, be upset with the other person, and tell me how right I was and therefore wrong they were she did something even better for me, in the long run.

She said, "Well, first I think you need to step back and see if there is any truth in their statement. Then you can decide if that truth means you need to fix something. If so, do it and move on. If there is no truth in the statement, move on without worry." Then she went on to give me her opinion like a sweet friend after being the spiritual guiding friend I needed first.

The question in this situation seems to be: Did Andy Stanley mis-speak OR call us out as The Church?

Don't get me wrong, I think there was a lot of false doctrine in his un-thought-out statements. That happens to the best of us when we're not careful.

"Church" isn't something you do or somewhere you go. It's the group of people who have become bond-servants of Christ. I so wish this one would sink in for us and a LOT of our misconceptions would be fixed.
20, 200, 0,2000, or 20,000 are all just a number and each can serve a purpose in The Kingdom's work. Just like in business, there are benefits on both the sides of large and small.
The next generation doesn't necessarily need what a larger church. Not every large church is Bionically sound just as not every small church is.
Division by age, stage-of-life, gender, or any other qualifier is often the easiest way to manage large groups of people rarely the BEST for them. Maybe we could use RACE as an example here and see how that played out for us.
Mega/large churches are a fairly new commodity and it will take years to have any concrete studies on wither or not there are long-term benefits OR detriments. In reference to this specific topic, that means, we have no real proof if children will grow into adults who love or hate church [attendance] based on the size of their church.
If you are dragging your child to church, that highly indicates other issues...not with your church. Most studies indicate THE main factor found in those who leave the church is a hypocritical lifestyle lived by parents/those raising them. Meaning, living one way at home and another in front of others, ie The Church.
When you send your child to college, if you have taught them to group themselves only based on self-service and who looks, talks, sounds, etc like them, then of course, a larger church is where they will have the most likelihood to find such a group. But people become "dechurched", leaving church from mega and small churches.

If you were like me and initially offended by what Andy Stanley said, I think there are some questions that need to be ask.

Do you have the wrong view of what The Church is and what it's purpose is?
Are you proud of or embraced by the average attendance of your Sunday morning service? {either can be unhealthy}
Are you intentionally keeping your part of The Church small for selfish reasons?
Do you enjoy knowing 'everyone' and therefor selfishly don't care if you reach out to know [or MORE] people?
Are you living missionally {intentionally for The Kingdom}, chasing the lost even if that means you might have to share you church/christian club?
Is the effort to lead more people to Christ more important to you than the number of members your church has?
Do you worry about giving your children everything they 'want' rather than 'need', contributing to the entitled generation?
Do you attend your current church based on what it offers you and your family or based on sound Biblical reasoning?
Do you group you and others like a preKer sorting by colors, size, shape, and purpose when it comes to church and other facets of your life?
Are you bothered by small children "disturbing" the church service with typical childish behavior?
Do your children enjoy attending church service? Are they apart of The Church? What's the real factor there?
Is your church partnering WITH you [not for you] to train-up your children in the ways of following Christ?
Are you fully preparing your children to chase after Christ and His will for their future or are you guarding them in hopes of them leading a watered down, comfortable version of the 'christian' American Dream?

I know Andy's statements made me have to reevaluate a lot of this stuff. I hope you'll mull over both sides for you and your family as well. Your thoughts on the matter?

Related articles about the Dechurched, Missional Living, and Church Planting.

Filed Under: as Jules is living, Missional Living, The DeChurched, The ones about the Rothacher Home

Missional Living with Littles

May 7, 2015 by Jules Leave a Comment

My kids are much better about choosing action over good intentions!

They know there is a small window of time between the school bus dropping off neighbor-friends after school and evening activities each separate family has every night of the week but that doesn't stop them.

They understand that quality, meaningful, authentic time with their friends is better than the great intention of spending mass quantities of time with them somewhere down the road. The "it looks like it's about to rain", "I'm not sure if they're home", "they might not want to", "there's only __ amount of time" excuses just don't cut it in their God-given love for people.

I'm learning to put aside all my excuses and let them live in the moment, not wait for the perfectly planned playdate, greatly fashioned gift-wrapped treat, or ideal weather. Loving people should be natural. Loving is what we are called to do as we are living not a detailed ministry opportunity we suck all the life our of.

Love is dependability.

Love is bonfire-smoke-induced-tears.

Love is forgetting who's toys belongs to who.

Love is bandaging skinned knees from other homes.

Love is sale Easter candy oozing out of children as they laugh.

Love is hearing hurts from a once-stranger child under hushed shame.

Love is splintered bare-feet from racing flying actions figures in hand.

Love is stale hotdog buns with gobs of compensation ketchup.

Love is street ball with dog-slobber-coated basketballs.

Love is side-walk-chalk-covered-dresses.

Love is a guaranteed hug.

Love is availability.