For When Baby Doesn’t Smile

February 3, 2014 by Jules Leave a Comment

Friday I shared how I'm not a "baby person" but I'm still lamenting over all these "last first" I'm experiencing with my youngest. One of the lasts I am not wishing never comes is that first smile. So far, we've had lots of those "I'm pooping in my sleep" smiles and even bright generic happy faces but none of those lips curled up, scrunched nose, wide-eyed, I love you so much smiles yet. Ellie is seven weeks old {today} which is no time at all in the grand scheme of things but if you've never had a work-for-it personality type child then you might not understand how long 7 weeks can really be with blank stares.

Seven week is about to kill me. If you sat in my house during Ellie's awake times you would think I'd lost my mind. I talk to her about all kinds of things. I talk in a normal voice; I talk in stupid voices. I have a {likely creepy} smile plastered on my face. I am constantly trying to make eye-contact; even attempting to look at her the entire time I nursing. I snuggle. and nothing.

I think I'd be even more upset about it if I hadn't already gone through this. That's why I want to share about what to do as a mom of a prude child who makes you earn a smile. My second child, Izzie was also like this as a baby. Stingy with the smiles. She wasn't as easily amused by my antics as her older sister and younger brother.

I think being a middle-child lends people to be less of an open-book. Some times it's because they're people-pleasers, others it's because they're unsure of themselves; not knowing their taste, likes, dislikes, style, etc. I can say this because I am a middle child and do tend to be the prude-personality. You know the prude-personality; the ones that seem shy but once you break that barrier there's no going back.

Being in "full-time ministry" our children have often been snuggled by those they don't always know well. Maggie and Jamin tend to thrive on this affection. Izzie- she shoots daggers from her eyes at those who try to invade her personal bubble before being invited. But once she decides she likes you, it's on! {insert a gazillion personal stories from our valley family}

As babies, this personality type some times appears angry, upset, unamused, indifferent. Indifferent is the worst. As a mom, I think this can sometimes make it hard to bond with your baby. You may feel like your baby doesn't like you. After carrying them for nine months, going through whatever type of birth to get them here, and looking forward to learning them- indifference from your baby toward you is hard! Bonding feels delayed and often, the want-to of getting to know your baby is...lacking. You're exhausted already and this personality type takes effort.

In the long run, I actually love this personality type. I'm sure there's a better title but in-short, this personality is prude, complicated, hard-to-crack, straightforward. When someone takes the time to engage them for more than just a few minutes; get to know them for real; and invest real care, the investment has major payoff!!! This personality is beyond loyal and loveable!

Ellie is a LOT like Izzie was when she was a baby! For all the mom's out there with the baby who doesn't smile right away, I'm here to be honest and encourage you.

It IS coming! It will be worth it. Keep Truck'n.

Talk to her. Smile at her. Remember that infants eyesight is slow-developing and not always the same timeline as other infants. Let them investigate new things. Our living room ceiling fan gets way more smiles right now than I do. Give baby massages. Snuggle.

It IS coming! It. Will. Be. Worth. It!

Their personality will come out and these {possibly} months of watching friends' infant {younger than yours} ham it up on Facebook will be a thing of the past. Try your hardest not to compare. Don't let that depress you or feel like you're doing something wrong.

Don't avoid sharing pictures of your baby just because of that perceived "I hate my life" look on their face. They are gorgeous and their personality will shine in time. {rhyme intended 😉 }

Do you have a stack of cell pics piling up because they're not Pinterst worthy with little elf hats, perfect skin, and a slight sheepish grin? Lets share them while they last. Infancy is a tiny slice of this kids life. Their non-smile is not a negative reflection on you. It's a reflection on the depth of their personality. You will want to remember this hard stage as a thing of the past someday!

Would it be inappropriate to start the hashtag #notasmileslut to encourage realness? bwahahaha

Filed Under: Parenting, The Ones about Jules Life {Randomness}, The ones about the Rothacher Home

A Mom Who Is Not a “Baby Person”

January 31, 2014 by Jules Leave a Comment

Infants: tiny, new, warm, snugly,
easily molded into fun positions for fun pictures.

I am completely honest with friends about not being a "baby person". Don't get me wrong. I love my babies, their short time of infancy, and would never wish it away but I much more enjoy when they start interacting even in the smallest ways.

If your like me, this emotional time right after having a baby can be tough. Wither it's labeled or not, every women goes through some sort of hormonal abnormalities during pregnancy and when our bodies try to go back to 'normal' when baby gets here, it can be hard to sort through the wide variety of emotions.

For me, having our fourth child means we are "done Having" babies. With this being our fourth c-section and several other factors, this has been the basic plan for as long as I can remember. BUT with that comes the very real realization that these are all your "last firsts". Anywhere from your last black-poopy diaper change to last limp naps on your lap to last first holidays. There have been many times these things come to mind and all I can do is fight back tears. It's not that I'm not okay with these being the lasts it's just weird realizing it.

I've found some things that help during the investment time while you wait on the big pay-off:

Hold them. Smell them. Bath them. Carry them. I know it may sounds silly but try and enjoy all the little things that will pass too quickly. Having a hard no-smile day? Give your baby a sweet little bath, glob them up with that typical baby-smell lotion, and snuggle them in sweet jammies while you inhale the aroma that will soon be replaced by sweaty-kid accompanied by "no I don't wanna take a bath" or "Oops, I didn't mean to cover the entire bathroom in bubbles".

I'm not sure how much crazy or "awe" is in this but all I can think of is the passage that offhandedly mentions that "Marry treasured all these thing in her heart" {Luke 2:19}. I am terrified I won't "treasure" all these things. My heart aches when I think of forgetting any of these sweet moments with my littles. {hence the abnormal amount of pictures- images jog my memory}

How about you? Are you a baby-person? Do you worry about not "treasuring all these things"?

Filed Under: Parenting, The Ones about Jules Life {Randomness}, The ones about the Rothacher Home

Snow Day {Thoughtful Thursday}

January 30, 2014 by Jules Leave a Comment

We currently don't have snow {boo- if it's gonna be this cold there should be fun white stuff} but I know many of you across the states right now do.

I also know bundling your little ones can be a hassle. Especially when they want to come in and out in and out because it's so cold. I discovered that an old plastic table clothe works great for a collection site right next to the door for all their wet, fridges clothing that they are going to want to put right back on in about 30 minutes.

This keeps tiny boots from tracking snowy mud across the entire house and keeps everything all in one spot so its all ready when they are {again}.

Filed Under: Being a Help-Meet, Hand-Dandies, Organizing, Parenting, The Ones about Jules Life {Randomness}, The ones about the Rothacher Home, Thoughtful Thursdays

The 13:13 Experiment

January 27, 2014 by Jules 5 Comments

I plan to do an experiment with my kids this month to teaching the power of words; especially Love and Hate. I found it fitting to conduct this homeschool science experiment as part of our Valentine's Day unit.

If you want to join us, Please head over to the as Jules is going Facebook page to follow the progress through out the month.

The 13:13 Experiment

...and the greatest of these is LOVE...

1 Corinthians 13:13

Question:

Does what we say and how we treat other really affect them significantly and long-term?

Research:

According to Dr. Masaru Emoto, people are made up of at least 60% water therefore his discovery has far-reaching implications… can anyone really afford to have negative thoughts or intentions?

Click here for more information from other who have tried conducted this experiment.

Hypothesis:

Since God tells us words and affection are so powerful, we believe they will have an effect on any creation and that we can show this in the scientific world.

"Loving on" the rice will make it flourish.
"Hating on" the rice will destroy it.
"Ignoring it" will rot it.

Materials:

2-3 jars with lids
white rice
water
little scientist
loving and hateful words
one month

Experiment:

Share the hypothesis with kids.
Get materials. We bought our plastic lidded containers at the dollar tree {2 for $1}. I didn't want to spend a lot so I don't feel bad trashing them at the end of the month.
Eliminate all external factors.
- Label jars.
  Write what you want to be said to the jars and how you want them to be "treated" so you don't mix them up
  - We chose to do all 3 jars and use white sticky labels saying:
    1. I love you
    2. I hate you
    3. ...
  - You can just do "love" and "hate"
- Chose a space toconduct the experiment.
  - same sunlight
  - same temperature
- Separate containers a significant amount- we're doing about 2 feet.
  {so they don't "hear" what we say to the other jars 😉 }
- Fill with white rice: you can either fill with rice and water or cook the rice before filling. We're cooking it first.
- Seal up the containers to avoid contaminants
Interact appropriately with each containers daily. Express love toward the "I love you" container and hatred toward the "I hate you" container. Don't talk to or mess with the "..." container at all.
Wait and observe. We are {attempting} ~28 days with no picking up, shaking, or moving the containers any way.

Draw Conclusion and report Results:

Follow this on the as Jules is going Facebook page during the month of February and I plan to update here when the experiment is completed.

Happy Experimenting 😀

NOTE: I never did a follow up post on this...because they turned out kinda nasty. Sadly, our experiment didn't yield the same results as the one we were mimicking. There were several factors that could have influenced this: plastic containers that were possibly not air tight, a loud home with lots of children, a bright room with lots of natural light, or too much moisture trapped in the containers {ie I didn't cook the rice the right way: too much water}.

Filed Under: Homeschool, Parenting, The ones about the Rothacher Home

I tan’t Do It

January 22, 2014 by Jules Leave a Comment

As a mom, it's fun watching your children and their individuality. I knew when we were expecting our second baby that our 1st and 2nd would probably be polar opposites. They were/are. When we had our 3rd, I assumed he would lean more toward our 1st child's personality or our 2nd. NOPE. He may have a few things that resemble something I've seen in his older sisters but he is a one and only!

Our middle child has mastered the middle child position. She walks the talk with her big sis and hangs with the older kids. She picks the fight in the cover of dark and then pulls out the Puss in Boots eyes {from Shrek} and works her way into your heart and out of trouble. One of her most common phrases lately that ~~gets under my skin and grates on my nerves~~ melts my heart and convinces me to sweep in to her aid every time is "I tan't do it!" {insert pout with giant brown eyes}. It helps her get out of clean up at night. Makes us late for everything by forcing someone to help her but on flip flops. This also means eating food she doesn't like all of a sudden just can't stay on the fork/spoon.

All in the same day my beautifully stuck in the sandwich of siblings can sit in the backseat and utter the words, "You can't dwive froo da red light!" I giggle because I'm not driving and because our light was not red. My sweet, helpful, peacemaking 2 and 1/2 year old knows nothing about driving! I think to myself, "You 'tan't' do it! You can't wipe your own tooshy. But Now you know how to Drive! You can't reach the peddles. You think all signs are "Top Signs" and all trucks are fire trucks." None of that will stop her from offering the how-to when she felt confident in her knowledge of the road.

Cachsssss!

The plank in my eye crashed straight through the windshield of reality as I was yanked to a stop with the realization that I am just a 2-year-old that pouts when I don't want to do something and who barks orders when I think I know best.

We know all to well what this is like. As soon as God ask us to do something we are uncomfortable doing by ourselves, we don't like, or we just plain don't want to, "we tan't do it." How does He respond? Love. Patience. Reassurance. Guidance. Right when we need it. When we want to throw in the towel, huff, cross our arms, and pout in a corner, he helps.

Lets parent like the perfect Father. She needs help. If she doesn't want to do something, patient help, reassurance, and guidance is what she needs.

Yet again, my child teaches me something in her innocence about our Father and the nature of our relationship. We have nothing to bring Him.

We knows nothing about driving! We literally 'tan't' do it! We can't wipe our own tooshies without His help. But Now you know how to Drive! We want to tell Him when to go, slow down, and stop. WHAT!?! We can't reach the peddles. We think all signs are "Top Signs" and all trucks are fire trucks. None of that stops us from offering our advise on how to run our lives. Because obviously we have a broad knowledge of how this world works, what's best for us, and how we want things to turn out.

I pray I begin responding the way my little girl would. I'm going to try and put on my big girl panties and do what God ask of me the 1st time knowing He knows me best along with what I can and can't handle. I'm going to zip my lips in the backseat and trust His knowledge of the road ahead.