Friday I shared how I'm not a "baby person" but I'm still lamenting over all these "last first" I'm experiencing with my youngest. One of the lasts I am not wishing never comes is that first smile. So far, we've had lots of those "I'm pooping in my sleep" smiles and even bright generic happy faces but none of those lips curled up, scrunched nose, wide-eyed, I love you so much smiles yet. Ellie is seven weeks old {today} which is no time at all in the grand scheme of things but if you've never had a work-for-it personality type child then you might not understand how long 7 weeks can really be with blank stares.
Seven week is about to kill me. If you sat in my house during Ellie's awake times you would think I'd lost my mind. I talk to her about all kinds of things. I talk in a normal voice; I talk in stupid voices. I have a {likely creepy} smile plastered on my face. I am constantly trying to make eye-contact; even attempting to look at her the entire time I nursing. I snuggle. and nothing.
I think I'd be even more upset about it if I hadn't already gone through this. That's why I want to share about what to do as a mom of a prude child who makes you earn a smile. My second child, Izzie was also like this as a baby. Stingy with the smiles. She wasn't as easily amused by my antics as her older sister and younger brother.
I think being a middle-child lends people to be less of an open-book. Some times it's because they're people-pleasers, others it's because they're unsure of themselves; not knowing their taste, likes, dislikes, style, etc. I can say this because I am a middle child and do tend to be the prude-personality. You know the prude-personality; the ones that seem shy but once you break that barrier there's no going back.
Being in "full-time ministry" our children have often been snuggled by those they don't always know well. Maggie and Jamin tend to thrive on this affection. Izzie- she shoots daggers from her eyes at those who try to invade her personal bubble before being invited. But once she decides she likes you, it's on! {insert a gazillion personal stories from our valley family}
As babies, this personality type some times appears angry, upset, unamused, indifferent. Indifferent is the worst. As a mom, I think this can sometimes make it hard to bond with your baby. You may feel like your baby doesn't like you. After carrying them for nine months, going through whatever type of birth to get them here, and looking forward to learning them- indifference from your baby toward you is hard! Bonding feels delayed and often, the want-to of getting to know your baby is...lacking. You're exhausted already and this personality type takes effort.
In the long run, I actually love this personality type. I'm sure there's a better title but in-short, this personality is prude, complicated, hard-to-crack, straightforward. When someone takes the time to engage them for more than just a few minutes; get to know them for real; and invest real care, the investment has major payoff!!! This personality is beyond loyal and loveable!
Ellie is a LOT like Izzie was when she was a baby! For all the mom's out there with the baby who doesn't smile right away, I'm here to be honest and encourage you.
It IS coming! It will be worth it. Keep Truck'n.
Talk to her. Smile at her. Remember that infants eyesight is slow-developing and not always the same timeline as other infants. Let them investigate new things. Our living room ceiling fan gets way more smiles right now than I do. Give baby massages. Snuggle.
It IS coming! It. Will. Be. Worth. It!
Their personality will come out and these {possibly} months of watching friends' infant {younger than yours} ham it up on Facebook will be a thing of the past. Try your hardest not to compare. Don't let that depress you or feel like you're doing something wrong.
Don't avoid sharing pictures of your baby just because of that perceived "I hate my life" look on their face. They are gorgeous and their personality will shine in time. {rhyme intended 😉 }
Do you have a stack of cell pics piling up because they're not Pinterst worthy with little elf hats, perfect skin, and a slight sheepish grin? Lets share them while they last. Infancy is a tiny slice of this kids life. Their non-smile is not a negative reflection on you. It's a reflection on the depth of their personality. You will want to remember this hard stage as a thing of the past someday!
Would it be inappropriate to start the hashtag #notasmileslut to encourage realness? bwahahaha
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