The Mommy Battle

This morning I read an article entitled,
|“You’re a stay-at-home mom? What do you DO all day?”

Being a stay-at-home-mom and having heard this question, in many different forms, I was intrigued and clicked over quickly to see what this women had to say. I was shocked to find out it was a dude. This was a dad defending his wife in her choice to stay home. WOW!

After reading it, agreeing with several powerful quotes, and wanting to encourage my other SAHM friends, I shared the link on my personal Facebook page. After hearing my husbands response to the post and what stuck out to him as well as reading some of the negative feedback in his comment section of that post, I became very aware of the other side of the coin. The work-outside-the-home-mom's whom I am also friends with and respect just as much as the SAHMs were mortally offended and degraded by this man and his blunt statements.

I wanted to write this in response to how I may have made those women feel. Confession: I'm an idiot.

We are not fighting one another. We are spiritual beings, in a spiritual world, fighting unseen spiritual battles. We are not fighting one another. The only ones loosing in this battle are our children.

I think I was comforted by the fact that there are other moms {and apparently dads} who see value in what I've chosen to do with my life. I think everyone would be encouraged by being given value. Reading the post from that point of view, I easily skimmed over the parts that could be taken as a slam on those who have not chosen the at-home route.

It is childish to make yourself feel better by belittling someone else.

In some ways, I think that is how this post could be read as a non-SAHM. I have worked outside the home and do "work" other than my home & children while at home but I still don't completely understand because I've never been there.

I think there are rights and wrongs in this world. There has to be. I serve a God who is an absolute therefore there are absolutes. I think the biggest absolute to live by is: Its Not About You. We were not created because God was lonely & needed us. We were not created because God was bored. We were not created because God loves us. We were created to glorify His name. So, in all that you do, Glorify God's name. Staying at home? Glorify Him in how you do it. Working outside the home? Glorify Him in how you do it. Doing a little bit of both? Glorify Him in how you do it.

My favorite quote from the post that I believe is true for both sides of this battle Satan has pitted in our generations is

we’ve idolized “being busy,” and confused it with being “important.”

I have heard this sentiment from all my friends. Its like the old one-upper SNL skit where we are always {nearly embarrassing ourselves} trying to make sure the other person believes we are equals, knows we work hard, and basically that they values us. God hasn't called us to be busy. Breath. Let it be okay to be...not busy. All of us!

Stay-at-home-moms, its okay to admit you have "down time". Some days, you can't make it to story-time, that play-date, or the late night birthday part. Its okay. Some days need to be PJ, no shower, entirely too many movie days. Its okay.

Work-outside-the-home-moms, its okay to admit you have "down time". Some days you can't run your kids to that soccer practice, you don't want to make dinner, or do the laundry. That's okay. Some days you need to play a game of solitaire on your computer at work, take an extra long lunch break, or put your kids to bed early because your wooped. Its okay.

We do not earn our value from how little time we have, how many Pinterest projects we complete, how young our children know their ABCs, what kind of car we're driving, the fashion statement our children are making, the vacation we've saved for, the manors our kids have, or anything else this world can measure.

Don't find your worth based on how little [time] you have. The only way we are given worth it through the payment Jesus made for us. He has paid for us and that's the only thing that gives us value and right standing before a Holy God.

Let's do that for one another anyways: Lets give value to one another and through that we can glorify God's name!

Sorry for unintentionally choosing a "side" in this mommy battle by sharing the original article.