Jules - 14/154 - as Jules is going

When It’s Too Big a Number

February 25, 2016 by Jules Leave a Comment

There are some days I can't manage one more thing. One more meal prep, drink refill, lesson plan, doctor appointment, Staffing, grocery list, load of peed-on laundry, caked on dish, bed time routine, refereed fight, maintenance of another humans life.

When I can't handle one more kids'...anything, all I hear are the words of the mean lady on Cheaper by the Dozen, "12 is just too big a number". I'm not naïve enough to pretend that's not what some people think about me. I know what they're thinking. What I can't handle is proving them right in any way.

I've been to the doctor nearly every week for a month and 1/2. I feel like my body is falling apart. I watch all these other mom's with "just 2 kids" parenting in ways that only lead me to wonder, "Could I be parenting like that if I'd stopped at 2? If I'd 'planned' my children further apart? If I didn't have too many?" Mom guilt on a whole other level. My insides hurt and I start comparing in the opposite unhealthy way, "Well at least I ___. My kids are better off because there are more of them because ____. At least I do ___ for my kids." And in that moment, I'm not living Christ-like and satan wins.

I started this post weeks ago and wanted to write a post defending large families. I wanted to give a list of why my kids are better off in this family. I wanted to fight for why our family fostering and bring yet more people into this chaos is right and why everyone else is wrong. Then. God.

"It takes all kinds. It takes all kind. It takes all kinds!"
As a whole, all of us together, good qualities, make up an image of Christ. We can't be perfect, having all God's perfect qualities. It takes all kinds to build that accurate picture.

Thanks for reading my pep talk to myself. 😫😂 Thanks for being another part of that image of THE Only One who has it all together. Keep trucking mamma of lots of littles as well as mamma grieving lost littles. His plan is bigger than ours.

Filed Under: as Jules is living, Parenting, The ones about the Rothacher Home

The Great-Wall Transformation

February 22, 2016 by Jules Leave a Comment

If you're like me, you know what you want but can't exactly explain it to anyone else. If you're like me then you might also scour Pinterest hoping someone smarter and a few steps a head of you already did what you have in your head. Here are some of the things I loved.

Soooooo, yeah. Didn't find anyone who combined what I was going for. I mean sure, slapping a mudroom-like wall on a giant wall in your living room right next to the front door with an entertainment center in the middle of it doesn't appeal to everyone...or maybe anyone. But, my hubs and I decided a long time ago that we would LIVE in our home. We want it to be comfortable, functional, fun, and inviting.

After looking at tons of pins, thinking through the thousands of things I wanted this is the list of thing I needed from this wall and the simple sketch of what I came up with for my hubs to work with.

Mudroom

Lots of hooks for winter gear
Space for each individual's shoes
Washable baskets to collect shoe grime
Kid-friendly usability
Classy enough look for adults
Ledge for my picture frame obsession
Bench for more seating
Ability to walk from front to back door with shoes on
Decorative board and batten
Bright White wall to lighten up the entire room

Entertainment Center

Wall-mounted TV
Lots of DVD and some video game storage
Easily reachable DVD player, sound system, and Wii
Storage for all small electronics from around the house
Charging station for camera and iPad
Decorative "ship lap" to hide wiring

Process of Building the Wall

Move all furniture
Clean wall and flooring
Build structure of the entertainment center
Install chair rail and ledge pieces {horizontal boards}
Hang TV mount
Remove baseboards
Pull up carpet
Tear up tack-strip
Cut off excess carpet and padding
Cut tack-strip to appropriate length
Reinstall tack-strip
Staple padding in place
Tuck carpet around tack-strip
Complete entertainment center
Attach drawer faces and tracks on drawers boxes
Push entertainment center in place {don't install}
Measure 8000 times
Build benches
Moved outlets up {above bench tops}
Patch drywall/add wall texture
Attach wire spacers on the wall
Attach ship lap to spacers
Spray paint primer coat on 3 loose pieces
Install entertainment center and benches
Install trim pieces {vertical boards} on wall
Install baseboards and quarter round
Fill all cracks with caulking
Paint...everything
Sand rough wood
Install hooks and hardware

Entertainment Center before and after

I could write a gazillion posts on my thought process behind each logistical reason I wanted things a certain way but not too many on the construction steps- maybe I'll tak my sweet hubs into writing more on that. Sorry I don't have more process pictures. Thanks for coming by to see our new Great-Wall! Weeks later and it's still making me smile.

Filed Under: as Jules is DIYing, Homemaker, Organizing, Projects, The ones about the Rothacher Home

Listening to God is Sometimes Like Drivers Ed Rules

January 27, 2016 by Jules Leave a Comment

I was terrified to start drivers ed in high school. I’d turned a corner too sharp after driving for 2.5 seconds and put my mom’s giant station wagon into a ditch a couple years before. I wasn’t sure I could do this thing. Driving. That all my friends seemed to love.

The drivers ed coach was so relaxed and his one rule when we started the actual driving portion of the class {assuming we all knew the textbook rules of the road} was go straight unless I tell you different. I constantly wanted to double check that I was still doing what I was supposed to. Being the only teary eyed newby, I refrained from asking over and over again. I was overly cautious to the point the coach had to tell me I was allowed to speed up a bit during one of my first drives.

I’ve learned my kids are so much like me. Whether out of caution for fear of not doing the right thing or not trusting that I’m paying attention and know when and what is coming.

Mags is in constant need of my reminders to “do the next workbox” for school. Keep working. The plan hasn’t changed. Trust me.
Iz finishes part of a chore and wants to move on to the next thing with while leaving the first ½ done. Complete each step. There’s reason behind my logic. Trust me.
J worries if maybe I’ve forgotten him and wonders if it’s time for a movie yet because surely it is and I just didn’t know. Trust me.
El nags about her cup, even if I’m in the process of filling it, until she’s got it in her hand. Trust me.

As frustrating as it is, I’m glad God doesn’t have the same responses I do toward my children in these situations. REALLY! Finish already. CHICKA! Don’t be lazy. DUDE! Maybe we don’t need a movie. GIRLFRIEND. I’m Holding The Cup.

God is constant. Unlike us as earthly parents who get distracted and are lethargic at times, God is steadfast in his patience with us as we show our distrust for Him and His all-knowing, grand-planning, goodness, provider-ship. We quite when we think he’s not looking and it gets hard. We cut corners thinking it won’t make a difference. We remind him of His promises hoping He remembers. We beg for Him to take care of us as if He needs our assistance in that.

Often when we're trying to hear God in what He wants us to do during a season of our lives, we forget our drivers ed rules. God gives us simple, generic, across-the-board direction for Christian living. Sometimes we're hoping for specific rather than just driving straight until he tells us to turn again. For a couple years now, I've had to take a page out of the Abraham play book and remind myself that, sometimes, God doesn't speak often. God expects us to go back to the last thing He told us and keep on in that direction until further notice.

Filed Under: Jesus Juked by My Kids, Parenting, The Ones about Jules Life {Randomness}, The ones about the Rothacher Home

Our Special Snow Globe

December 2, 2015 by Jules 2 Comments

I stepped outside to help Matt with Christmas lights only to be found minutes later by a wailing child.

This in and of itself wasn’t an abnormal occurrence but the trail of four other children behind him indicated this wasn’t a boy-called-wolf moment. Through everyone’s yelling, crying, and tattling I heard, “He broke the globe!”

Yep. I know it was coming. The Veggie Tale globe I got back in high school had made it nearly 15 years, seven of which with children around only to be shattered this year by a boy playing santa. After a week of “Don’t shake it violently like that” and “Please be gentle” and “That is GLASS, it will break if you drop it” and “No, it doesn’t need to be taken off that table” reminders, my little man decided toting it in a Christmas throw blanket taking it’s debut as santa's “sake” was TOTALLY alright.

I waited outside for awhile while Matt headed inside to assess the damage and begin the clean up. From the uproar he gave when seeing it, I knew I had made the right chose by not walking in just yet. I could hear the chaos and panic of everyone running around inside to get away from glass or grab towels and clean up tools. I could hear my sweet husband angry for me that this had happened as he lectured J the man about the “accident”.

Although frustrated that I’d managed not to break it myself thus far and now it was gone, I was more upset over the fact that dude was weeping but more over fear of consequences than remorse that he’d destroyed a special globe of his mommy’s.

I went in and sat down. I ask Jamin to come to me and I scooped him in my lap. He shook and tears streamed down his face. I told him I was glad he was okay and that I was less upset about the broken globe and more upset that he didn’t trust me enough to head my warnings about how to play with it. I snuggled him and he quickly stopped crying. I rubbed his back and shook my head in dismay joking that it was time to get new carpet because I wasn’t sure we’d get all the glass out of it. Then J sniffles and as he still clings to my shoulder asks, “Can we watch the grinch?”

~WHAT The Crap?!? You have Got to be kidding me. ~

I took a deep breath and let out a big sigh before I gently put him down and ask him to go to time out.

We finished getting ready for dinner, ate, and tried not to think about it. Next thing I know, J says “Mamma, I’ll just BUY you a new one.” Ugg. I thought this round and round was almost over. I cleared by plate and explained that even IF they still made them, buying a replacement doesn’t fix the problem.

I decided I needed to teach him how to try to “fix” things in a situation like this. Feeling as though I’d failed him. Why was he being so selfish and slow to just express remorse.

Lil man and I dug through the garage in our tub of glass recyclables hoping to find a tall baby food jar. No such luck. We did find a mason jar with a candy cain painted on it that wasn’t gonna come off easily. I ask for Jamin to put on his coat and shoes. I’m not sure if he was prompted by a defensive daddy but he looked up and me and finally said, “I’m sorry I broke your globe mamma.”

We ran round the corner to Fred’s and found a handled mason jar. We made it home with just enough time for him to help clean up the playroom while I finished ripping off the remaining glass from the old snow globe. I showed him my plan and after bath he sat down with me and we “fixed” the sentimentally old Christmas decoration. the way it went together so easily, you would have thought I knew what I was doing or something. LOL

When we were finally finished we decided it was no longer “Mommy’s special snow globe,” now it was “Our Special Snow Globe”. And I like that a lot better! Plus, now it has a handle for easy, [hopefully] child-friendly, shakage.

Filed Under: #mommied, as Jules is DIYing, Decorating, Homemaker, Jesus Juked by My Kids, Parenting

Fit Chips {nothing to do with fitness}

November 9, 2015 by Jules Leave a Comment

Do you have lots of littles? Or even just a single little who knows how to throw a fit about Every. Tiny. Minimal. Pointless. Non-life-threatening. Thing? Yeah, me too!

Currently, we have 6 littles under the age of 7 years old. Besides the tattling, fit-throwing is the most common offense in our home. While we are still using our "Rocking Behavior" chart to handle most of those, I decided today that FITS were gonna have to be treated like a sacred thing. Before you tell me that fits can't be limited, I once grounded my daughter from her imaginary friends during nap time. Absurdity in parenthood is my forte.

Do you ever catch yourself ignoring the screaming your child is doing because they've 'called wolf' too many times and it doesn't mean anything anymore? I often "change my name" for the same reason. In my opinion, fits should be reserved for worth-while circumstances. Like death.

You throw a Fit, you pay a Chip.

How to create and follow through with this system:

I created cups to hold each child's chips as well as a Fit Chip Collection tub. For about 5 minutes, I was going to use empty baby food jars but then..glass. So we ended up using an old frosting tub and 6 laundry detergent cups. Cut up index cards and packing tape took care of the labeling and I cut a giant hole in the lid for easy deposits.
Next came the budgeting and consequence/reward system: I used plastic gold treasure coins we already had. Every one of my homeschool kids got 3 chips and those who attend public school got 2 because they were here way less of the day.
For any reason, if a child screams, cries, hollers- as soon as it happens, they go pay me a chip, then we deal with the event {exception is actual blood is involved or assistance is needed for injury}. Our first day actually solved this problem pretty quickly. As soon as they thought about screaming because they didn't get the color plate they wanted they would laugh because they didn't want to give me a chip.
If they run out of chips, simply say, "NO! You can't afford to throw another fit. You're out of chips." If they continue, create consequences and follow through. For us, they will drop their clip on the "Rocking Behavior Chart".
If they have chips left at the end of the day they get to move their clip up for every chip they have meaning it pulls them out of consequences or pushes them into fun rewards.

Example 1: My children were playing in the backyard when Mags (7) came in screaming. Assuming she was hurt, but not badly because she was walking, I said, "Go pay me a chip." When she responded, "But I'm really hurt." I said, "That's what they're for! I'm sorry you wasted them. I hope you don't get hurt again." She went and paid me a chip and then we discussed how she got kicked in the head on the slide but was really trying to get someone in trouble for the accident.

Example 2: J the man (4) lost all his chips {because he's exhausted and threw fits about Everything} so he ended up falling off the behavior chart, lost his iPad time, movie, AND earned a slightly early bedtime. Although devastated, he's healthier for each of those consequences in my opinion. LOL

Example 3: Iz (5) has a chip remaining which earned her 5 extra minutes of iPad time tomorrow.

Example 4: El {almost 2} has no clue what's going on yet but when she threw a fit because I wouldn't give her the drink she screamed for, I told her "Nope. Pay me a chip. {snicker} Pulled a chip from her cup and said, "That just cost you a chip." She stopped and stared at me confused.

Example 5: M and P (4 and 6) thew fits about having to clean up toys and all the other children shook their heads and said, "Sorry. You have to go pay mamma a chip."