Enjoying My Supporting Roll in God’s Story

April 29, 2016 by Jules Leave a Comment

Two years ago, a traumatic thing happened in our small town- an F4/5 tornado took out most of the businesses, tons of home including an entire neighborhood, and many lives were lost. This happened just over a year after my husband and I moved our family here to plant The Valley church.

We constantly pray for God to teach us how live missionally: to love the community we live in, show new ways of share His love right where people are at in their lives, and grant us favor so door will be open to lead people to Him. That night in April, God handed us just that, on a filthy, demolished platter perfect for serving the hurt and searching town He sent us here to server.

The days following the storm, my husband and I were overwhelmed with the support from all the networks we had been apart of, long and short term. I was too much to keep up with. I often felt like I'd been given this huge responsibility and I was failing by not being able to manage all the help He was sending our way. Things have slowed down over the past two years...well, in comparison to those crazy couple months to after the storm.

This year as I scrolled through my archived private messages and "memories" on Facebook, I was overcome with guilt all over again. How I didn't answer some of the lost messages from friends and acquaintances, timeline post I wasn't sure I handed well enough, and most of all the lack of appreciation I didn't show those how fought through the pile off notifications to help us. I had high hopes of sending formal Thank You cards, letters of how prayers were answered, gifts were used, and just how very loved I felt. Even now, satan is making my insides hurt with remorse because I am so VERY thankful to be a minor character in this beautiful thing we are living.

God has taken these two years to reassure me that while we are all just supporting rolls, in God's story, that all points to Jesus, they're all important I have shared before that I often give up on things because I see someone else doing it, and likely way better. BUT God has plans and invites us to join the adventure of going on it with Him. We aren't called us to compare ourselves to others but rather support one another's part in the story.

Don't become arrogant when God's story starts playing out in front of you.

That's where focus is changed from what's most important or players get pulled.

Don't forget that the sun doesn't revolve around you.

The ONE who created light without that sun is where our focus should remain so we stay in the light.

Keep at the front of your mind, that EVERY story in this world points back to Jesus; whether it's acknowledged or not.

I want to make sure the story I'm in gives all glory where it belongs.

I guarantee you that this high schooler in our town was organizing volunteers sent her direction way better than I was. BUT God sent certain people along my path in life for such a time as this. He ask that I play a part in their story involving my town.

I know many of the women who worked the Play Place with me after the storm could have run it better, shared our story better, and accomplished more. BUT God ask that I run with it amidst my poor relational, communication, and organizational skills.

I promise, there were hundreds of other kids in our town that could have offered input on the new playground. BUT God saw fit to have my daughter and I as part of that planning team.

From schools, trips, camps, ministries, neighborhoods, and places we've passed through in live all showed up when God was ready for things to pan out that He's been writing since before I was born. Do you ever feel like you're not playing the part you want in the story of life? Be encouraged! Every [seemingly] small part in a story is valued.

When God ask you to play a repetitive, type-cast roll, Say Yes! When God invites you to play an unexpected drop-in roll, Say Yes! Because you never know when your story will change and there will be a big BUT GOD right after your YES!

Thank you, to at least 2 different countries, 14 different states, 37 different US towns, and MORE than 61+ different friends/acquaintances who shared a part in our Vilonia Tornado chapter through asking for prayer from their friends, collecting donations, sending necessities/gift cards/monetary support, delivered items, helped with clean up, and so much more! It's so humbling to be connect to each of you and really hope I didn't miss anyone. These are just the names I could find on my Facebook timeline and private message history not including my husbands:

Brittany Thompson- Ervington, AL
Kelsey Harris- Arkadelphia, AR
Danna Magness- Batesville, AR
Morgan Smith- Batesville, AR
Shadrack and Mellissa Black- Batesville, AR
Amy Howard- Benton, AR
Kathryn Doland- Bethel Heights, AR
Jessica Colley- Centerton, AR
Kim Stiles- Conway, AR
Morgan Williams- Conway, AR
Molly Jones- Conway, AR
Janna Chaffin- Dalton, AR
Cheryl Patterson- El Dorado, AR
Craig Herring- El Dorado, AR
Dana Rumph- El Dorado, AR
Deedra Nash- El Dorado, AR
Wanda Deason- El Dorado, AR
Hannah Henderson- Fayetteville, AR
Kelly Malancon- Fayetteville, AR
Sally Acosta- Fayetteville, AR
Johnathan Stoner- Floral, AR
Brandi Shinn- Greenbrier, AR
Cristin Jensen- Greenbrier, AR
Terri Nicholson- Greenbrier, AR
Amy Whisenhunt- Greenland, AR
Cindy Brantly- Little Rock, AR
Shane Harris- Little Rock, AR
Samantha Grant- Magnolia, AR
April Winn- Marmaduke, AR
Cathey Griffin- Parker's Chapel, AR
Fran Brotherton- Parker's Chapel, AR
Heather Gilmore- Parker's Chapel, AR
Jennifer McNab- Parker's Chapel, AR
Rita Snow- Parker's Chapel, AR
Rob and Amanda Waggoner- Parker's Chapel, AR
Julie Beavers- Pine Bluff, AR
Jessy Cutrell- Star City, AR
Doreen Keim- Siloam Springs, AR
Ashley Hall- Strickler, AR
Anja Spadoni- White Hall, AR
Candace Achorn- White Hall, AR
Shannon Paldino- Orlando, FL
Kate Stoner- Keokuk, IA
Jam'e Brown- Wichita, KS
Katie Archer-, Ruston, LA
Rebecca Dorobis- Rockport, MA
Patrick Sherrill- Alpena, MI
Karen DeBeus- Hope, NJ
Sami Roe- Midwest City, OK
Scott Jenkins- Norman, OK
Edna Cain- Sapulpa, OK
Betty Lin-Fisher- Akron, OH
MaryAnn Waltz- Milford, OH
Kathy Metivier- TX
Christine Hurt- Orem, UT
Abigail Assam- Lynchburg, VA
Heather Rennie- Aberdeen, Scotland
Jenny Sim- Aberdeen Scotland
Rachael Underwood- Insch. United Kingdom
Betty Pennington- ?
Justin and Crystal Murphy- ?

Thank You for playing your part in God's story!!!

Filed Under: as Jules is living, Missional Living, The DeChurched, The ones about the Rothacher Home, The Ones about The Valley Church

Eating Rice and Beans for the Month of Love

March 14, 2016 by Jules Leave a Comment

Have I mentioned how awful our Monday Nights are? Yeah, I don't like them.

For the first couple months of transitioning to Manic Monday evenings, our 2 "big" girls and the parent who took them to dance and gymnastics grabbed fast food between classes. It was the easiest chose, saved me from having to think up and pack something that would last for a couple hours in a picnic bag before eating, allowed us time to grab some groceries in between classes most weeks, and to be honest was kinda fun.

Then Monday, February 1st 2016 happened.

We finished dance class, scurried around the corner to the Dairy Queen, because it was the closest fast food restaurant and the girls had never eaten there before. While staring at the menu trying to decide how to order the cheapest {we often share meals and get waters} I realized one of the main factors we have never eaten there...$$$. I couldn't find a cheap alternative so I chose to 'go big' and get everyone their own meal With drink. WOW! When we finally sat down to eat with little time to spare before having to be back for gymnastics, the girls opened their kids meals to find Mustard and onions on the burgers.

The world as we knew it had apparently shrunk up and therefore ended that night. There was whining, nashing of teeth, pouting, and fit-throwing when I explained that I would help them wipe the mustard and onions off but I wasn't going to take the burgers back. There wasn't time and they needed to learn to be thankful, better yet, GRATEFUL that we were beyond privileged to eating out weekly, especially between our not-so-cheap "extra curricular" that are paid for my their grandparents. {HELLO!}

I was appalled. I couldn't believe I'd created such entitled children. We've gone to extreme measures such as

minimizing the number of toys they have, never buying just-because toys
paying "commission" for chores to help them learn budgeting as well as having just-because-you-live-here chores
doing the 30 hanger challenge along with only buying clothes from consignment events
only allowing a single "extra" and only when they're 5 years old
having them always share rooms
becoming a foster family as a way to serve and open discussion about struggles we may have never known

and the list goes on and on. Where had I gone wrong?! Where was the "thanks for the pricey burger mom!"?

I continued to fume as I took my gymnast to her class and my dancer grocery shopping with me. I text my hubs and angrily announced, "Mags has just earned the family a week of rice and beans. Ungrateful, over-privileged, punk was non-stop complaining about the mustard on her expensive burger."

After talking through the awful night with my hubs, the decision was made to do a month of teaching through rice and beans lunches for a month supplemented with videos about children in 3rd world nations that have to eat this meal, videos about ministries that help these children, and lots and lots of conversations about how privileged we are.

Negatives to the month-long lunches of rice and beans:

although our children understood the basic idea of why were were doing it, selfishness still exists
even with major efforts to make the experience a teachable time, it still ended up feeling like a punishment to the kids
our stomachs suffered...I have to admit that the last few days, I had to skip lunch or alter the meal by just eating rice with milk or something to try and finish out the month.
This isn't the healthiest meal to provide children in poverty but it is the cheapest.

Positives to the month-long lunches of rice and beans:

simple menu planning- we already have the same things, depending on the day of the week for breakfast and similar things for the night of the week for dinner
less than 10 minute meal prep- we cooked the rice/water for about 7-8 minutes in our large micro-cooker and the can/can and 1/2 of beans for about 2-3 minutes in our small micro-cooker. {side note: we use these almost daily for lots of recipes including browning our mix'n chopped meat. You can find them HERE.}
low grocery bill- we went through 2 large boxes of minute white rice and close to 35 cans of beans {mainly black but some great northern}
my kids could Easily help with making lunch
no options- there was less and less fussing about what we were having because they just knew what lunch was going to be. They could eat a little of it or a lot of it {I've seen similar effects with scheduling routine meals other times}
we all learned how privileged we are- all of us, even parents quickly saw how we were accustomed to having too many options when we didn't feel like eating something
we became more grateful for the gazillions of options we have
we became more interested in ministries that can help children without our options are are hoping to use money we saved on groceries to support them a little

What are you main concerns with scheduling an intentional rice and beans meal with your family?

I found very few simple recipes to try and switch up our lunches during the month of February. Most recipes I found on Pinterest only differed in the way they prepared the rice/bean {ie in a slow cooker or pot on the stove} Our fairly standard recipe was as followed:

Ingredients:

2 cups water
2 cups white minute rice
1 can black beans
1 Tbs garlic pwd
1 tsp onion pwd
Salt/Pepper to taste

Directions:

Stir water and rice into large micro-cooker, attach lid, and microwave for 3.5 minutes. Open and stir to reduce overspill. Cook 3.5 minutes until all the rice is soft and water is fully absorbed.
Open can of beans and pore beans into small micro-cooker. Stir in seasonings. Attach lid and microwave 2 minutes or until bean are completely warmed.
Serve

Filed Under: Baking and Cooking, Cool Ministries, Homemaker, Parenting, The Ones about Jules Life {Randomness}, The ones about the Rothacher Home

On Andy Stanley and The Size of Your ‘Church’

March 9, 2016 by Jules Leave a Comment

I believe Andy Stanley's statement hit a cord with so many in a negative way because there IS an [element] of true in it and as most things that sting, it's because there's a hint of personal guilt.

Stanley said:

When I hear adults say, “Well I don’t like a big church, I like about 200, I want to be able to know everybody,” I say, “You are so stinking selfish. You care nothing about the next generation. All you care about is you and your five friends. You don’t care about your kids [or] anybody else’s kids”… If you don’t go to a church large enough where you can have enough middle schoolers and high schoolers to separate them so they can have small groups and grow up the local church, you are a selfish adult. Get over it. Find yourself a big old church where your kids can connect with a bunch of people and grow up and love the local church. Instead… you drag your kids to a church they hate, and then they grow up and hate the local church. They go to college, and you pray that there will be a church in the college town that they connect with. Guess what? All those churches are big.

Read more of what Andy said HERE or listen to the full sermon HERE

Faced with the online outcry, Stanley apologized on Twitter, saying “The negative reaction to the clip from last weekend's message is entirely justified. Heck, even I was offended by what I said! I apologize.”

A wise WISE friend once told me something beyond profound when I message her about a big hurt someone had caused me with what they said. Fully expecting her to defend me, be upset with the other person, and tell me how right I was and therefore wrong they were she did something even better for me, in the long run.

She said, "Well, first I think you need to step back and see if there is any truth in their statement. Then you can decide if that truth means you need to fix something. If so, do it and move on. If there is no truth in the statement, move on without worry." Then she went on to give me her opinion like a sweet friend after being the spiritual guiding friend I needed first.

The question in this situation seems to be: Did Andy Stanley mis-speak OR call us out as The Church?

Don't get me wrong, I think there was a lot of false doctrine in his un-thought-out statements. That happens to the best of us when we're not careful.

"Church" isn't something you do or somewhere you go. It's the group of people who have become bond-servants of Christ. I so wish this one would sink in for us and a LOT of our misconceptions would be fixed.
20, 200, 0,2000, or 20,000 are all just a number and each can serve a purpose in The Kingdom's work. Just like in business, there are benefits on both the sides of large and small.
The next generation doesn't necessarily need what a larger church. Not every large church is Bionically sound just as not every small church is.
Division by age, stage-of-life, gender, or any other qualifier is often the easiest way to manage large groups of people rarely the BEST for them. Maybe we could use RACE as an example here and see how that played out for us.
Mega/large churches are a fairly new commodity and it will take years to have any concrete studies on wither or not there are long-term benefits OR detriments. In reference to this specific topic, that means, we have no real proof if children will grow into adults who love or hate church [attendance] based on the size of their church.
If you are dragging your child to church, that highly indicates other issues...not with your church. Most studies indicate THE main factor found in those who leave the church is a hypocritical lifestyle lived by parents/those raising them. Meaning, living one way at home and another in front of others, ie The Church.
When you send your child to college, if you have taught them to group themselves only based on self-service and who looks, talks, sounds, etc like them, then of course, a larger church is where they will have the most likelihood to find such a group. But people become "dechurched", leaving church from mega and small churches.

If you were like me and initially offended by what Andy Stanley said, I think there are some questions that need to be ask.

Do you have the wrong view of what The Church is and what it's purpose is?
Are you proud of or embraced by the average attendance of your Sunday morning service? {either can be unhealthy}
Are you intentionally keeping your part of The Church small for selfish reasons?
Do you enjoy knowing 'everyone' and therefor selfishly don't care if you reach out to know [or MORE] people?
Are you living missionally {intentionally for The Kingdom}, chasing the lost even if that means you might have to share you church/christian club?
Is the effort to lead more people to Christ more important to you than the number of members your church has?
Do you worry about giving your children everything they 'want' rather than 'need', contributing to the entitled generation?
Do you attend your current church based on what it offers you and your family or based on sound Biblical reasoning?
Do you group you and others like a preKer sorting by colors, size, shape, and purpose when it comes to church and other facets of your life?
Are you bothered by small children "disturbing" the church service with typical childish behavior?
Do your children enjoy attending church service? Are they apart of The Church? What's the real factor there?
Is your church partnering WITH you [not for you] to train-up your children in the ways of following Christ?
Are you fully preparing your children to chase after Christ and His will for their future or are you guarding them in hopes of them leading a watered down, comfortable version of the 'christian' American Dream?

I know Andy's statements made me have to reevaluate a lot of this stuff. I hope you'll mull over both sides for you and your family as well. Your thoughts on the matter?

Related articles about the Dechurched, Missional Living, and Church Planting.

Filed Under: as Jules is living, Missional Living, The DeChurched, The ones about the Rothacher Home

Seeds Family Worship new Lullaby album {review and giveaway}

March 8, 2016 by Jules Leave a Comment

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Congrats Hannah on winning the Lullaby Album!
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Our family owns several Seed Family Worship CDs. They are on a mission to get God’s Word through Seeds into as many homes (and hearts) as possible around the world.

It's fun to listen to this music while we're doing school or in the car. The songs are so catchy that they're not distracting but can be amazing background that sinks deep into everyone's hearts. All Seed Family Worship music is pure scripture. No interpretation, no false theology. Just plain Bible verse to music. An amazing way for you AND your children to memorize scripture together. On top of that, the music is quality, variety of styles, repetitive {in a good way}, and rarely cheesey. I have to be honest, every once in a while it's a bit cheddar, but it's kids' music so little bit is expected. It's upbeat and fun. There are kids singing {again still quality} and encourages my kids to sing along and dance up a storm.

Recently, we were given their new Lullaby album to review. Logically, with new foster babes in and out of our "guest" room, it was nice to have more "sleeepy time music" for bedtime in their room as well as in the car for dreaded car-naps on long rides. But on a deeper level, it is an amazing thought to know that scripture is sewing into them, no matter how long or short a stay they have with us.

Along with my album, they are offering my readers the same album for one of you to enjoy! To Enter To Win:: click through this link and fill out the Rafflecopter. I'll use this secure system to choose a winner and announce it on Monday {3-15-16}.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

winner be ready to communicate via email about shipping 
within 24 hours or I'll have to choose the next person

Who knows, maybe it will even get to you in time for Easter. 🙂 Maybe. Speaking of Easter...Seeds Family Worship has an Easter ep. Check it out HERE as well as click around to find more goodies including FREE scripture wallpapers. {NOT AN AFFILIATE, JUST A FAN}

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Congrats Hannah on winning the Lullaby Album!
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Filed Under: as Jules is living, GIVEAWAYS!, Holidays, Homeschool, Parenting, The Ones about Jules Life {Randomness}, The ones about the Rothacher Home

When It’s Too Big a Number

February 25, 2016 by Jules Leave a Comment

There are some days I can't manage one more thing. One more meal prep, drink refill, lesson plan, doctor appointment, Staffing, grocery list, load of peed-on laundry, caked on dish, bed time routine, refereed fight, maintenance of another humans life.

When I can't handle one more kids'...anything, all I hear are the words of the mean lady on Cheaper by the Dozen, "12 is just too big a number". I'm not naïve enough to pretend that's not what some people think about me. I know what they're thinking. What I can't handle is proving them right in any way.

I've been to the doctor nearly every week for a month and 1/2. I feel like my body is falling apart. I watch all these other mom's with "just 2 kids" parenting in ways that only lead me to wonder, "Could I be parenting like that if I'd stopped at 2? If I'd 'planned' my children further apart? If I didn't have too many?" Mom guilt on a whole other level. My insides hurt and I start comparing in the opposite unhealthy way, "Well at least I ___. My kids are better off because there are more of them because ____. At least I do ___ for my kids." And in that moment, I'm not living Christ-like and satan wins.

I started this post weeks ago and wanted to write a post defending large families. I wanted to give a list of why my kids are better off in this family. I wanted to fight for why our family fostering and bring yet more people into this chaos is right and why everyone else is wrong. Then. God.

"It takes all kinds. It takes all kind. It takes all kinds!"
As a whole, all of us together, good qualities, make up an image of Christ. We can't be perfect, having all God's perfect qualities. It takes all kinds to build that accurate picture.

Thanks for reading my pep talk to myself. 😫😂 Thanks for being another part of that image of THE Only One who has it all together. Keep trucking mamma of lots of littles as well as mamma grieving lost littles. His plan is bigger than ours.