Ooozing Humanity

The couch is strategically place at the perfect angle for viewing both the sentimentally decorated tree in front of the window as well as the TV. The dishes and laundry are all clean and stored in their place. The beds are made with cute little throw pillows and stuffed animals. Christmas is sprinkled through out the house bringing warms and the holiday glow. The sun beams in the open shades into each room staged for a magazine shoot.

Then is hits.

Spewing from my lower gut. Refusing me that freshly made waffle. I dare not open my mouth or all of me might gush out onto the floor. Tears try to form but I can't make a sound. The twirling in my stomach wants to irrupt. I hold it in.

Turn on all the lights. Position nicknacks to appear naturally placed. Fold the blanket with much purpose and toss it across the back of the couching hoping it looks hap-haphazardly.

Pause. Deep breath. Gaze at the ceiling in disbelief.

Continue meticulously combing through every element of each room. Smell checking. Fluff. Rotate. Unlock. Dust.

My mind can't leave it. My attempt at OCD cannot hide my sin. No words can make this ooozing of humanity stop or even slow. I am nauseous. Defeated. Discussed.

I want to give up. I want to curl up in a ball and cry out my excuses to justify myself; to make the hurt go away. My bones ache with the sin eating away at them. I want to delete the ugliness everyone has seen. That my God, whom I claim to love with all my being, has seen.

Life does not work that way. We cannot pretend our sin has no effect.

Now what? My inner most parts irrupt with remorse but it does not take it away. Do I sit immoveable by guilt? I want to...Satan wins.

Then WHAT? What do I do now? I know I have been forgiven. For this very sin. 15 years ago- He said past, present, future; All Forgiven. I press forward. Surrendered. I have nothing aside from His grace.

Redeem my sinfulness. Make little of me. Make much of you so they may only say, "Hallelujah! Look What God Can Do!"

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Am I Asking the WRONG Question?

With Matt leaving before the kids and I are awake these days I've had sto switch things up a bit. When I hear the first child screaming and kicking the wall from his crib stirring with little coos I fall back to sleep get up and run down stairs to heat up some frozen waffles and grab mild cups. When I climb back to my room I flip on the TV and the fancy dancy bunny ears for a little PBS action {score!} then go grab the munchin. When he's in place with the always-preached-against-TV-babysitter I start the shower. My girls trickle in and have become accustom to mom's new routine and actually kinda like it because it involves cartoons. Some days when I'm done grooming myself I fight at least one child to finish their waffle.

This is how this morning went. Except today, before my hair was even dry, Izzie came to me in the bathroom and ask if I had any more waffles. "Awe, no I don't have any more up here. Did you already eat all of yours?" She said yes, and after I completed a quick search of the prisms including the inside of my hub's guitar, I went down stairs and made her another waffle. While I was waiting for that lil toaster op I decided today I should eat some breakfast myself. Filling a cup with off-brand apples jacks with the toasted waffle in hand, I returned to my bedroom. When I gave Izzie her waffle Jamin immediately began begging/whining for one. "I'm starving my children." I thought to myself and then handed him some of my apple jacks.


All three kids ran to me with a vengeance. With a big sigh I handed Jamin a few more and Maggie a hand full but ask Izzie to eat the waffle she ask for first. Mags knowing this was my only breakfast yet still dissatisfied with her few cereal pieces ask, "Mamma, can I have a cup of cereal of my own when we go downstairs?" Heart= melted.

A few minutes later I handed her the cup and told her to share with her siblings. I heard Maggie explain to Izzie, "You have to finish that waffle first. Then I have some for you." That is our mantra. You ask for something, you need to eat it, not waist it. Eventually I ask her to finish at least 1/2 the waffle so she too could have the amazing orange and green goodness her siblings ere feasting on. She finished the entire thing and Mags had saved her a giant pile all her own. {they really do love each other- swoon}

This got me thinking. My poor Iz the biz wasn't getting to feast on what she really wanted but it was basically because she ask the wrong question. She didn't know what options there were for her to choose from. She didn't know there was a better option. Not saying waffles are chop liver {I sure wouldn't have turn one down when I was kid} but she and I both know she likes cereal better. She thought another waffle was the option for her still longing tummy.

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:11

I'm a slacker , evil according to Matthew 7:11, and didn't even think to offer her apple jacks and I say I love her?!? This whole, "Be careful what you ask for." I believe is a TERRIBLE thought process when it comes to Christ. Humans like me, maybe. I'm just dull enough to grab my kid a waffle when I knew she would be blessed even more by a cup of apple jacks. I know her! Awe, but how much more does our Father in heaven love us and give good gifts!?! How often do I think I know what will fill my growling tummy? How many times do I ask for specific things of God yet he doesn't give me what I've ask for because is smarter than me {duh} and God doesn't give me what I know to be good but gives me what He is BEST!?!

Asking God for what we think is the right solution to a problem is just scratching the surface of what He has in mind for how he wants and is able to bless me with. We ask for the basics. The bland. The mediocre. The selfish. By asking "Please fix everything." we're basically saying, "Can you make my days easy so I don't have to depend on you all the time? Yeah, thanks for that..." I'm thinking that asking for His will to be done in a situation might be is the wiser prayer.

In Luke 22:42, JESUS says, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”

Jesus knew we were doobers and that's why he talked about the older brother in Prodigal Son story in Luke 15:32. He's pouting outside not only because he was a bit self-righteous and thought his lil bro should have received a punishment but also because he was never thrown a party. His dad {a beautiful picture of Christ} responds, " All I have is yours." Dude had just never ask the right question.

I think I need to reevaluate if I'm asking the wrong questions! How 'bout you?

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Made for Something GREATER

"There’s something inside me that longs to be the one wearing the cape, having the whole fate of the world on my shoulders. To be a part of some grand adventure that transcends my seemingly insignificant existence, and I finally know why. It’s what I was created for." To read the rest of my husbands article go HERE.

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I haven't written something real in a long time.

I don't really know why. My girls are finally getting the hang of sharing a room so I've got consistent time when they're in be to "write". I've been working here and there on my 20 Days of Giveaways. That's a bigger undertaking than I wanted to believe but isn't really taking that much time. I've been working here and there on baby shower stuff I get to help host for my awesome long-awaited-mommy-to-be friend up in Fayetteville. But since it's not in August, I have plenty of time to take care of that stuff. I've been traveling a little more than normal... I'm not really sure why I've been avoiding REALness and posting mainly pictures with minimal story behind them, info about new advertisers, and lots of how-tos.

I feel kind of jaded right now. I keep waiting for "something amazing I guess"-The Incredible. I feel slightly empty. Exhausted. Lifeless. I don't feel present in most of what I'm doing. Maybe lack of purpose is the culprit. Ya know, real purpose! The good stuff. Eternal stuff. I keep focusing on there here and now. Accomplishing something just to get some kind of shot of "productivity" as though "accomplishment" is my addiction. This waiting game sitting in a house for sale while anticipating a move to being a new work in a new town- ugg! More hanging out with my Maker would prolly help me figure out what's "broken".

I really enjoy that God's giving me the chance to help {minimally} supplement my families income and still vow that I won't share, promote, or advertise anything that I don't advocate. I even noticed I hadn't been there for my kids. I mean, I'm here in the house with them nearly 24/7 or at least around them All The Time but lacking that life-giving presence. I tried "playing" more but some how I even seemed to pervert that by turning them all into posts or photo opps. I have an unfounded fear that I'm gonna need all these pictures someday to remember things. All the way through school my crutch was that I have a terrible memory. I even have a hard time remembering names of people I see often. I could be staring at a familiar face with complete confusion because I have no idea what their name is or where I should remember them from. Maybe that's where the fearful need to take pictures comes from. Who knows. I vividly remember my mom telling me in high school to put the camera down and "live" the moments I was trying to capture. Yeah, its been an obsession for that long. {ca-bang! shot that random rabbit I was chasing... hehe}

Oh no, I think this confession post is leading me to a camera fast...let's not be hasty here. Hmmm

Okay, currently I just want a little more accountability to LIVE. I lover writing. I truly believe it's my outlet. Writing things is a way I dump out all that's floating in my head. Getting it out sometimes helps me sot through the junk that's been building up in there. I don't want to be a "how-to" blog {even though I love sharing what I'm learning in practical realms and won't stop those}. I want to be a transparent life for fellow Christ-followers as well as yet-to-follow-Christ readers to relate to, learn from, be encouraged by, grow with.

Will you help me in this by "joining the conversation" on posts? I have  hard time putting myself out there and never knowing if it reaches anyone. I have trouble continuing down that path feeling very selfish and one-sided. It's weird for me when friends/people walk up to me and talk about something they read months ago on my blog and I had no idea they were even readers. It's awkward for stalkers others to know everything about me and my family and me to know nothing of importance about them. I would love to actually build relationships!

How can we build a relationship you ask?

I'm smiling even thinking that you might have asked that! Here are some options to help start building our relationship:

  • leave comments in the easy to use Facebook comment thingy or under the "join the conversation" section
  • comment or message me on Facebook
  • email me at Jules at as Jules is going dot com


Here's the scary part- Publish. My hubs reads this thing and when he hears this, he'll keep me accountable. Accountability can be scary... Well, Here's to being REAL!

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Don’t Sacrifice Your children

It's that time of year again. The ceremony begins. Those leading are ready with scripts memorized, instruments in hand, and audience in place. The drums begin. Those in attendance began tossing their jewelry, wallets, and anything of worth into a hot burning fire. The last man to walk up is pale, nervous, and uneasy. He tosses in that which is of the utmost worth in his life, his CHILD! The leader of the ceremony cheers and a new song erupts. Everyone shouting, screaming, beating drums just as the year before. Drowning out the horrific cries of that tiny baby. That man slowly creeps back to his wailing wife in an attempt to comfort her as they watch many other fathers walk forward to offer their babies. The drums, chanting and dancing only become louder and more wild in attempt to distract from the smell of burning flesh and the reality that you are sacrificing a helpless gift of life.

What the Crap! {I know you were all thinking it...I just typed it.} Who in their right mind would participate in such a thing? Who could stand by and let someone do that to their child? Who could cheer about it? Who could voluntarily offer their child?

God's chosen people.

The 12th century rabbi Rashi, commenting on Jeremiah 7:31 stated:

Tophet is Moloch, which was made of brass; and they heated him from his lower parts; and his hands being stretched out, and made hot, they put the child between his hands, and it was burnt; when it vehemently cried out; but the priests beat a drum, that the father might not hear the voice of his son, and his heart might not be moved.

21 “‘Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed to Molech, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the LORD. "

Leviticus 18:21

David conquered Jebusi, now Jerusalem, and he named it "The City of David" (II Sam. 5:6-7 & I Chron. 11:4-5). Israel never did completely separate from the pagans in the land as God had instructed them. Rather they intermarried and absorbed them into their culture (Ezra 9:1). And just as God's "called-out Israel" "served their gods," so likewise does His [many] "called-out Church" serve these same gods of old by teaching similar doctrines. {}

These seemingly barbaric people were sacrificing their babies to this god in hopes of gaining fertility {the ultimate sign of blessing then, ironically} or as a payment for their own sin or the sins of their people.

As barbaric as this sounds, we must remember that this is precisely what we do through abortion. With one obvious exception - today we don't honor or bury the children we kill.

Yep, I went there! As God's "called out" people, we the church need to start taking a stand for things that matter. Stop fighting over which denomination is better. Which churches withIn a denomination are better. Fight for those who need a voice. Those innocent being sacrificed to our gods of "rights", "choice", and "selfishness"! 

Even Jesus addressed this by alluding to the valley where these sacrifices took place as that of the fires of hell. He used this illustration because it for those he was talking to it "...seems to fit into most people's concept of torturous  infernal regions reserved for "evil souls of men,"..."

The best picture of Hell Jesus could give was that of His people sacrificing their innocent children to fake gods. WOW!

Abortion is sacrificing an unborn, helpless child to the god of selfishness, convenience, or pride to pay for the sin of sex outside marriage.

Abortion is sacrificing an unborn, helpless child to the god of fear to pay for the sin of rape, incest, or pedophilia.

Mothers asking their daughters to sacrifice their unborn, helpless child to the god of pride to pay for the sin of neglect.

Where will you your allegiances lie? Will you "completely separate from the pagans in the land as God had instructed"?


{start learning about the LIFE campaign HERE or HERE}


~~~~WARNING: there is a LOT of information provided here so please return when covenant to utilize these resources~~~~

Healing after abortion:

"Why [women who have had abortions] wall up, or cry around little children; why they sleep around, or suffer from depression, or think that God is punishing them by not giving them more children. I have a message for those women." -Sarah Mae

Citations and informative sites:

Abortion: Sacrificing to Molech

Personal Stories of abortion:


Graphic image of an abortion:

Amazing video on the important reality of abortion:
The 180 Video {post from the archives}

God's miracles despite abortion:

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