Real-ness

I haven't written something real in a long time.

I don't really know why. My girls are finally getting the hang of sharing a room so I've got consistent time when they're in be to "write". I've been working here and there on my 20 Days of Giveaways. That's a bigger undertaking than I wanted to believe but isn't really taking that much time. I've been working here and there on baby shower stuff I get to help host for my awesome long-awaited-mommy-to-be friend up in Fayetteville. But since it's not in August, I have plenty of time to take care of that stuff. I've been traveling a little more than normal... I'm not really sure why I've been avoiding REALness and posting mainly pictures with minimal story behind them, info about new advertisers, and lots of how-tos.

I feel kind of jaded right now. I keep waiting for "something amazing I guess"-The Incredible. I feel slightly empty. Exhausted. Lifeless. I don't feel present in most of what I'm doing. Maybe lack of purpose is the culprit. Ya know, real purpose! The good stuff. Eternal stuff. I keep focusing on there here and now. Accomplishing something just to get some kind of shot of "productivity" as though "accomplishment" is my addiction. This waiting game sitting in a house for sale while anticipating a move to being a new work in a new town- ugg! More hanging out with my Maker would prolly help me figure out what's "broken".

I really enjoy that God's giving me the chance to help {minimally} supplement my families income and still vow that I won't share, promote, or advertise anything that I don't advocate. I even noticed I hadn't been there for my kids. I mean, I'm here in the house with them nearly 24/7 or at least around them All The Time but lacking that life-giving presence. I tried "playing" more but some how I even seemed to pervert that by turning them all into posts or photo opps. I have an unfounded fear that I'm gonna need all these pictures someday to remember things. All the way through school my crutch was that I have a terrible memory. I even have a hard time remembering names of people I see often. I could be staring at a familiar face with complete confusion because I have no idea what their name is or where I should remember them from. Maybe that's where the fearful need to take pictures comes from. Who knows. I vividly remember my mom telling me in high school to put the camera down and "live" the moments I was trying to capture. Yeah, its been an obsession for that long. {ca-bang! shot that random rabbit I was chasing... hehe}

Oh no, I think this confession post is leading me to a camera fast...let's not be hasty here. Hmmm

Okay, currently I just want a little more accountability to LIVE. I lover writing. I truly believe it's my outlet. Writing things is a way I dump out all that's floating in my head. Getting it out sometimes helps me sot through the junk that's been building up in there. I don't want to be a "how-to" blog {even though I love sharing what I'm learning in practical realms and won't stop those}. I want to be a transparent life for fellow Christ-followers as well as yet-to-follow-Christ readers to relate to, learn from, be encouraged by, grow with.

Will you help me in this by "joining the conversation" on posts? I have  hard time putting myself out there and never knowing if it reaches anyone. I have trouble continuing down that path feeling very selfish and one-sided. It's weird for me when friends/people walk up to me and talk about something they read months ago on my blog and I had no idea they were even readers. It's awkward for stalkers others to know everything about me and my family and me to know nothing of importance about them. I would love to actually build relationships!

How can we build a relationship you ask?

I'm smiling even thinking that you might have asked that! Here are some options to help start building our relationship:

• leave comments in the easy to use Facebook comment thingy or under the "join the conversation" section
• comment or message me on Facebook
• email me at Jules at as Jules is going dot com

My promise to you: I WILL ALWAYS CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION!

Here's the scary part- Publish. My hubs reads this thing and when he hears this, he'll keep me accountable. Accountability can be scary... Well, Here's to being REAL!