This past week Matt and I took some of our Relentless students to St Louis on a
Spring Break trip while our children had a 5 day sleepover at their Nanna's house.
Limbo doesn't even begin to explain where I'm at right now. Our family is not playing a simple game of see who can keep their balance while crawling under a pole. No, we have been on a full-blown roller coaster with an end beyond the horizon filled with flips, tight turns, giant loops, and hills that take your stomach away and force out feelings you didn't know you had. All this since October of 2011. Going and going and going...
Preparing to travel. Traveling. Preparing kids to be away from home. Readjusting to being home. Preparing to travel again. And the cycle starts over.
Where is the recovery in this cycle?
We're all running in circles.
Where is the rest?
We're all tired and sick.
Where is the peace?
We're all on edge; our bodies sore with stress.
Our poor home has felt the wake of this coaster. It's winds blowing through reeking havoc in every corner of clutter. Filling trash cans with debris. Tearing our home to pieces, literally.
We need time to stretch the aches out of our inner most muscles. Time to rest our eyes not just in sleep but from the hustle and bustle of looking for what's next. Time to regroup, reorganize, clear out, clean up, settle down, have a seat, Enjoy one another.
I'm ready for a smaller house. A smaller yard. Less maintenance. Less responsibility. I want a to-do list diet: fewer things on my plate that are making me chubby with anxiety.
I'm ready for routine. I'm ready for predictable. Not just knowing about the millions of things that are filling up our calendar but a standard. I'm ready for almost dull, monotonous, SLOW way of life.
I'm trying to find peace and enjoy this stage. I don't wanna miss life as we are traveling through it. I'm so glad I have my camera back so I can remember to stop and capture each moment. Not only to remember it later but to notice it now.
I know God did not build us to run as fast as the machines we've created. I want to get back to the pace of the garden. Walking in the cool of the evening! Chatting with our maker. awe...
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Slowing down and enjoying a slower pace of life was one of the best parts of our move over a year ago. Our previous church kept us so busy and we didn’t even realize how crazy our life had gotten. It was a little bit of an adjustment for us to move to a smaller town and a simple church, but we love it! The adjustments was difficult at times and I still catch myself living in the moment. Excited to hear about how things continue for your family!
Thanks so much for that confirmation of where my heart is. I think in ministry we are often “expected” to FILL our lives {even more than other Christians} with tons of ministry {aka STUFF}. None of us are called to live like that. I am excited about the change and can’t wait to share the journey.
Thanks for reading and leaving feed back. It really is a huge encouragement :~D
We are on a crazy roller coaster right now too. We have the wedding in 79 days and our youth group is super busy too… I love that my husband respects quiet and knows when things get to be too much. Here in Maine kids get a week in Feb. and a week in Apr. for spring break. (Instead of two weeks all at once.) And I was starting to fill that week with activities, but he stopped me and declared we are going to my parents cabin on an island off the coast for most of the week. I panicked… What was he thinking… My to do list has 182 items on it and we will be at the two month mark to the wedding by that time… Is he totally nuts?? But he would not relent and put his foot down… I freaked, there isn’t even Internet at the cabin… I finally relented and started talking about bringing movies to watch on my laptop and all the books I have been meaning to catch up on reading… He announced there would be no laptop and the only book either of us can bring is our Bible. Also we will be leaving after church on Sunday, but the girlies and their guys won’t be joining us until Tuesday! I panicked… who would lead youth that week… It’s a vacation week, we should have a trip, activity, or at least a concert trip planned… Nope, he talked to the youth leader at another church and our kids would be invited there for that week… He did not bend as I had a two day panic attack… In fact it confirmed in his mind that he was right… I love that man!
That’s awesome! I love that your husband put his foot down about REST! Matt and I both agree that rest is a biblical practice but unfortunately {ashamedly} not all churches are cool with it’s leadership resting. {btw: jealous about the 2 weeks of spring break. We only get 1 in AR and some don’t get a full week}
I truly enjoy every event, retreat, trip, etc we’ve taken our students on but I do feel burned out some times and that I’m not giving my all when I’m with the students or with my kids because I’m so torn.
Our culture {Satan} tells us that exhaustion is an necessary evil of being “well rounded”. Sadly we didn’t get to stick close to home today- doctors apt for 2 of the 3 before we leave town again AND a planned picnic at the park with friends. I am looking forward to the park. Hopefully it will be relaxing but usually not, ya know, all the chasing kids, disciplining, and attempting to carry on much needed adult conversation.
I can’t wait to hear about your truly, purposefully restful week!