This past week Matt and I took some of our Relentless students to St Louis on a
Spring Break trip while our children had a 5 day sleepover at their Nanna's house.
Limbo doesn't even begin to explain where I'm at right now. Our family is not playing a simple game of see who can keep their balance while crawling under a pole. No, we have been on a full-blown roller coaster with an end beyond the horizon filled with flips, tight turns, giant loops, and hills that take your stomach away and force out feelings you didn't know you had. All this since October of 2011. Going and going and going...
Preparing to travel. Traveling. Preparing kids to be away from home. Readjusting to being home. Preparing to travel again. And the cycle starts over.
Where is the recovery in this cycle?
We're all running in circles.
Where is the rest?
We're all tired and sick.
Where is the peace?
We're all on edge; our bodies sore with stress.
Our poor home has felt the wake of this coaster. It's winds blowing through reeking havoc in every corner of clutter. Filling trash cans with debris. Tearing our home to pieces, literally.
We need time to stretch the aches out of our inner most muscles. Time to rest our eyes not just in sleep but from the hustle and bustle of looking for what's next. Time to regroup, reorganize, clear out, clean up, settle down, have a seat, Enjoy one another.
I'm ready for a smaller house. A smaller yard. Less maintenance. Less responsibility. I want a to-do list diet: fewer things on my plate that are making me chubby with anxiety.
I'm ready for routine. I'm ready for predictable. Not just knowing about the millions of things that are filling up our calendar but a standard. I'm ready for almost dull, monotonous, SLOW way of life.
I'm trying to find peace and enjoy this stage. I don't wanna miss life as we are traveling through it. I'm so glad I have my camera back so I can remember to stop and capture each moment. Not only to remember it later but to notice it now.
I know God did not build us to run as fast as the machines we've created. I want to get back to the pace of the garden. Walking in the cool of the evening! Chatting with our maker. awe...